It Starts with a Belief
Ever wonder why you are addicted? Stop focusing on the behaviors and start looking at the causes. The cause of all our behaviors is our beliefs. Beliefs you might not even realize you have.
Then a Behavior
Insanity is engaging in the same behavior, and expecting a different result. You’re a complainer because sub-consciously you believe that complaining helps solve problems. You criticize because sub-consciously you believe it makes you feel better about yourself. Your impatient because you believe that being impatient resolves issues quicker. Your dis-empowering beliefs are the cause, and your unmanageable life is the effect. Your irritability and discontent is because of this feeling of un-manageability and you seek relief.
What Makes You Miserable
Anything that will help you forget, even for a little while, this feeling, of being discontented with self. Always thinking about me, me, me. This belief that the world revolves around me, creates an endless need to be accepted and cared for by others. In more severe cases it can cause us to feel that we are not lovable or valuable and that we don’t really belong. We don’t feel safe being our authentic self, so we create a false self, and the fear of this false self, being found out, leads to more and more elaborate lies and myth-building about who we really are
It Gets Worse
As we work harder to sustain these myths we become neurotic about being found out. This neurosis further helps establish the dis-empowering beliefs systems with regard to how we interact with the world. So in addition to being critical, impatient, complainer we become arrogant, bossy, aggressive. We know the innate truth and it makes us angry, and discontent.
Until We Explode or Implode
As we live with these dis-empowering beliefs, as we continue to dishonor ourselves, and permit others to dishonor us, our unexpressed anger grows. As this anger grows, eventually it explodes, usually over a minor thing, and we lash out, hurting our loved ones causing remorse or we implode, getting angry with ourselves, causing depression, or we do both. We are taught to lie in order to belong. We learn to pretend, to be different from who we actually are, to fit in, belong, to feel safe, to survive, it’s all a lie. Others talk about being honest, and we see them lie all the time.
We Deny It
We learn denial, the ability to distract ourselves and shut down what we need and want. We deny what we observe or know to be true about others. We create fantasies of how we wish things could be, at the same time making excuses, to do nothing that would change the situation. The more we deny the less we heal, the more we lie to ourselves, the further we get from our true selves. Honesty becomes our biggest challenge.
The Way Out
In order to break ” the bondage of self “, we have to start at our spiritual center. We have to examine our beliefs about the Universe. The belief that the Universe is evil is a lie. We must realize that there is no such thing as evil. That it is only wrong thinking that leads to evil. We were made in the image of our Creator and his will for us is to be happy and prosper. The Universe was created especially to grow man. The soil will grow whatever is planted, it’s neutral, it only grows. If we continue to plant dis-empowering beliefs, we shouldn’t be surprised that we reap a lack of power in our lives. It’s simple cause and effect.
The 12 Step program of recovery has been around since the 30s. Following the steps allows a transmutation to occur in your thinking. You come to the realization that instead of being the victim in your life, you can be the hero, and it’s simply a choice, that you can make.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
A Narcissistic Personality Disorder creates a belief system that only sees the world through the eyes of your ego. It creates a reality based on lies, which leaves us feeling isolated and alone. The feelings of irritability and discontent are the effects of Narcissistic thinking. The main problem with the Narcissist is that they are trapped in the bondage of self. It’s my BELIEF that Narcissistic Personality Disorder is not the rare psychological condition that some would like us to believe, but that it’s the root cause of most addictions today.
I Know What I Know
According to Martha Beck in her book ” Finding Your Way in a Wild New World”, in order to be a genius at anything, it takes 10,000 hours of deep practice. Following that criteria then I’m a genius when it comes to Alcoholism. I’ve earned my seat and I know what I know. Today I’m more convinced the ever, that lurking beneath every addiction is a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. When we start addressing this Disorder head-on, is when we will start seeing recovery rates climb.
To say that this condition is rare and that people can’t recover from a seemingly hopeless case of mind and body is to nurture a dis-empowering belief, usually for financial gain.
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As always, thanks for visiting, Dave