Category: Changing Dis-Empowering Beliefs

What Causes Alcoholism

Just Because It’s in Google Doesn’t Mean it’s True

If you what to find out about Alcoholism, don’t always look to Google for the answer. The other day I typed Alcoholism into Google, and the first listing on page 1 was the Mayo Clinic. This is their definition of Alcoholism, “a chronic disease, characterized by uncontrolled drinking, and a preoccupation with alcohol”. Then right underneath in bold letters is written very common, “more then 3 million cases a year”.They follow this with the LIE, “treatment can help, but this condition can’t be cured”.

Alcoholism 4th Preventable Cause of Death

Number 2 on page 1 is Medlineplus.gov which talks about how 18 million adults have an Alcohol Use Disorder, (AUD), which they characterize as not being physically dependent, but still a serious problem. AUD has three levels mild, moderate and severe. Number 3 on page 1 is Alcoholrehabguide.org that writes, “88,000 people die each year from alcohol related causes. That it’s the 4th leading preventable cause of death in America”. They go on to state, “Alcohol abuse is treatable and that there are a number of Rehab Facilities that specialize in Alcohol Addiction Programs and Therapies”. They than go on to list the common factors why people turn to Alcohol.

  1. Relieve Stress
  2. Feel good
  3. Cope with loss
  4. Overcome anxiety

Confusion, is it curable or not?

Is it any wonder, that there is so much confusion and misunderstanding, about an addiction, that has been around since Man first crushed grapes. The Mayo Clinic says it’s not curable, without giving any reasons why. The Rehab site says it’s curable, and gives simplistic and inaccurate reasons about what causes alcoholism.

Mental Illness is the Root Cause of Addictions

These sites obviously have different agendas, my question is why none of these sites, state what millions of people know, that the addiction to alcohol is simply an allergy of the body caused by a mental obsession of the mind, and that millions have recovered from this seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. It’s known now that almost all addictions are caused by mental illness, and the sooner we get consistency from the “experts” about the role mental obsessions play in addiction, the sooner we can help more people find relief.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

It is my Hypothesis that almost all Addictions are the direct result of the mental disease called Narcissistic Personality Disorder, (NPD). This disorder was first diagnosed in 1985 as an incurable mental illness. After, further study this diagnosis was modified in 1990. It was determined that NPD could be cured with intensive psychological therapies, but if left untreated NPD would progress to Malignant Narcissism (MN), for which there is no cure. This has been the experts opinion for almost 30 years, and yet no one seems willing to place NPD as the root cause of Alcoholism and most other addictions.

Change Dis-Empowering Beliefs

It’s the intent of this Website, to try to change the misconceptions we have about addiction and other dis-empowering beliefs that hold us back from dreaming.

As always, thanks for visiting. Dave

 

 

 

 

 

The Cause of Addictions; The Bondage of Self

It Starts with your Beliefs

Depending on how functional or dysfunctional our childhoods where, we all develop some Narcissistic Beliefs, looking at the world from a me first perspective. If these beliefs are of an Ancillary nature, than most of us grow out of this form of Early Narcissism. But if the Narcissistic Beliefs are of a Fundamental nature, where we perceive the Universe outside ourselves as dangerous, hostile, confusing and un-nurturing, than the Narcissistic thinking becomes a habit and eventually starts to infect other fundamental aspects of our belief systems.

The Habitual Mind Takes your Beliefs and

If you are filled with anxiety, anger, depression, irritability and discontent and are having problems, forming normal fulfilling relationships, and have also developed an addiction to something, you might want to look at your belief systems. The Habitual Mind is hardwired to see only what it believes. The UN-Conscious mind is working 24/7 to manifest these beliefs into your life. It’s constantly looking, non-stop for validation, association and comparisons, that support the beliefs it holds. It does this year after year, for decades slowly grinding down our self-worth, self-confidence and self-trust.

As we internalize these dis-empowering beliefs we start to develop an emotional dependence upon them rather than becoming independent of them. We begin to believe that the world revolves us and we start to become trapped in the  “bondage of self”. If this is allowed to happen, than the Early Narcissism evolves into a Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). We unconsciously, internalized these dis-empowering beliefs, and without being aware of it, we pass them on to those around us. Some of the most obvious dis-empowering beliefs are.

  • That we have the power to control how others feel, this in turn reinforces the fear of rejection and disapproval we have towards others. Because of these fears, honesty usually takes a back seat to pleasing. We avoid dealing with conflicts and have problems forming true connections through intimacy or any real genuine feelings of love.
  • That rules are more important than our needs or people. Putting rules ahead of people and ourselves, elevates the importance of obedience and compliance, this leads to an over all lack of empathy, especially if you v’e broken any rules.

Our Beliefs Become Us

Once these beliefs are established, we become oblivious to them, if challenged we either are unwilling or unable to suffer the pain of even acknowledging, much less changing them. How can we give up our personality, these well-established patterns of behavior, developed over a lifetime. If anyone thinks they can’t, I’m here to tell you anyone can, if they are willing to do the work.

You Can Change Your Beliefs

It takes more than a desire, to change, it takes a strong will and the ability to take action. But if the pain of not changing has become strong enough, than there are resources, available to show anyone how.

  • First, we must realize how unmanageable our thinking has become.
  • Second, we must understand that our lives are the effects of that thinking, not the cause.
  • Third, that we have never been the victim.
  • Fourth,everything that has happened, needed to happen, to get us here.
  • Fifth, our character defects are only our beliefs in action.
  • Sixth, list out the defects in order of importance. It’s by looking at our character defects that we can begin to change.
  • Seven, pick a behavior and the dis-empowering belief behind it and stop doing it.

Change Them One At A Time

Remain aware of it and focus on it until it’s removed, than go to the next. A wholesale onslaught of all your defects will only lead you feeling overwhelmed and eventually so frustrated you’ll give up. Taking them one by one and watching how your life starts to change, will only encourage you to continue.

Because You Know You Don’t Know

Because we are willing to admit, that something is wrong with our thinking, there is still hope at affecting change, either individually or with group therapy. Experts agree, that Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a progressive mental illness. If left untreated it will progress into a more malevolent, vindictive and vengeful stage known as Malignant Narcissism, for which there is no cure. What they seem unwilling to agree upon is that NPD is much more common in society, and as I maintain, the root of almost all addictions.

As always, thanks for visiting. Dave

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Was a Dry Drunk

Recovering from Addiction is easy, just quit, its how a majority of people do it. Of the estimated 14 million adult Americans who are deemed Alcoholic, less then 10 percent of them will be seeking help at any given time. Of those 10 percent, 70 percent won’t achieve lasting sobriety. Seventy percent of those who achieve sobriety in A.A. will relapse in five years. The relapse rate for one year are even higher. With this being said its safe to say that there are a lot of Dry Drunks walking among us, and for ten years I was one of them,. I want to tell you what that experience taught me.

What is a Dry Drunk

In doing research for this article I was struck about what I found when I Googled, Dry Drunk, every entry on the first page of Google was written by a Treatment Center, and I found the information to be either misleading, confusing or just plain wrong. In a lot of cases they just describe the symptoms that cause people to seek relief in the first place. A rehash of the reasons a person is driven to drink, not an explanation of what a Dry Drunk is. And in every post there is the underlying suspicion that what the article’s real intent is to sell you something.

So let me make this simple for everybody, a Dry Drunk is a person who attempts to get and stay sober without the help of a program. A “lone wolf”, convinced that a program has nothing to offer and that through sheer self will alone, they can beat this affliction of Mind and Body, commonly called an Addiction. That’s why you see a majority of people who have quit on their own and are supposedly “sober” are still not happy or satisfied with their lives. They are under the illusion, that just quitting their drug of choice is sufficient for recovery from a hopeless state of mind and body. Because they don’t know what they don’t know, they are unaware that the drug only masks, the real problem.

Thinking and Behaving Alcoholically without Drinking

Not being able to understand specifically, the first three steps of the 12 Step program, I decided that I could be a lone wolf and recover on my own. Though my life got better on a materialistic level, I didn’t get better. As a matter of fact, mentally and spiritually I got worse. I remained stuck in the “Bondage of Self”. Even without using, my drug of choice, I was constantly finding myself thinking and behaving alcoholically.

Simply quitting without looking into the causes of why your an Addict, is like an Ostrich burying its head in the sand, it might make you feel better, but its going to help you. At this point I didn’t even have a concept of the term “Bondage of Self”, and that’s a real big problem.

Recovery takes work

If your convinced you want to recover on your own, that’s fine millions have done it. We are all alone with our thoughts, and it’s by going inside your thoughts, that you can begin to fix, why you think the way you do. A.A. stresses that recovery is outside ourselves, that we are powerless, and that only through turning our life and our will over to a Higher Power can we hope to be healed. Lack of Power was my dilemma, and as long as I continued to believe in powerlessness I would be powerless. Our lives are the effect of our thinking, we must go inside, not outside ourselves. For its the beliefs, we hold inside, that have created our life outside.

You need to start your journey, for long term recovery and sobriety, by doing more than just quitting the drug. We need to get into the causes. Today its easier than its ever been to find people that have made the journey your embarking on. Realizing that our journey is not unique and that there are many ways in which you can reach our destination. But the journey, to any destination, takes action.

What Happens if you Do No Work

When I quit, I thought, that would be enough. What I found instead was that my dis-empowering beliefs only used my quitting to become stronger. Where I had been critical and judgmental of others who didn’t drink like me before, well now it included everyone. Looking down my nose, with contempt and disdain, “look I quit, why can’t you?”. Constantly watching each and every drink anyone took, sensitive to the slightest change in personality, judging peoples outsides by my insides. Feeling angry but superior at the same time.

Everyone of my character defects were being reinforced by my abstention. I developed a whole new level of martyrdom. Instead of feeling “less than” I constantly felt “more than”. Hyper sensitive and critical at the same time. Impatient with others, constantly complaining and lying the whole time about how I really felt. These habitual thoughts became my constant companions and I almost came to welcome them, like old friends.

Recovery Based on an Illusion

Unfocused will power is as damaging as no will power. To live in the “Bondage of Self” constantly feeding and congratulating my ego (my false self) about how strong and superior I was, to be able to quit on my own, with no help and without doing any work. A recovery based on illusion.

Living in this illusion for years, eventually lead to the creation of another illusion. Slowly with the help of my ego I began to convince my unconscious mind that I wasn’t even an Addict. That it had all been a mistake. Because of my unwillingness to do any work, to even attempt to look for the root causes of my irritability and discontent, my recovery was based on a foundation of sand.

How Much Work Does it Take

In the 30s low bottom drunks were taken through the steps in a matter of days, today that would seem to be impossible. The reason I bring this up, is that the work, of uncovering the root causes, of an addiction, don’t have to take a lifetime. Finding quality sobriety doesn’t have to entail going to meetings for the rest of your life. What it does entail, is a willingness to understand that its our beliefs about the Universe and ourselves, that are the root cause of our thinking. It’s empowering to believe we have the capacity to become unconsciously competent, to have the ability, to know what we know. To believe differently is dis-empowering, and creates a lack of power.

As always, thanks for visiting. Dave

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Recovering from Addiction

The Three Stages of Learning

  1. Unconsciously Incompetent; Don’t know what we don’t know
  2. Consciously Incompetent; Know we don’t know
  3. Unconsciously Competent; Know we know

These three stages coincide perfectly with three stages of Addiction

  1. Active Addiction; To be in your Addiction, where you don’t know, what you don’t know. Oblivious of what’s happening, totally convinced that everyone drinks the way you drink.
  2. In-Recovery; Know we don’t know, Only once the pain becomes greater than the pleasure do we even consider the possibility of quitting. We understand the concept of powerlessness over our drug of choice, but struggle with the idea of our lives being unmanageable, especially if we still have a job, a wife and a house. We know something is wrong but don’t know how to fix it.
  3. Recovered; Know we know, we understand the reasons behind the Addition and the compulsion to use has been lifted.

In AA circles it’s frowned upon to say your recovered, when introducing yourself, as if it’s presumptuous to think you can ever recover. They assume everybody is stuck in the consciously incompetent stage of learning and that to know you know, why you became an addict is out of reach. This is very dis-empowering.

A Journey with No Destination

To begin a journey of recovery with no destination, no possibility of reaching the end, is to be left constantly searching. Your criticized if you act as if your tiring, or complain about the journey with no end. After a while you begin to wonder if this is a journey you want to take.

It’s natural and Human to think that a destination is not only possible but probable. A journey with not destination makes no sense. While you may enjoy the journey it’s in reaching your destination, that is cause for celebration You rejoice in reaching your goal and look forward to the next journey.

Recovery should feel like a journey of enlightenment, a joyful adventure, taking with others, that reaches it’s desired goal. Not a lifelong “trudge” to a nebulous and vague happy destiny.

It’s an Insult

I believe we are designed to be able to reach the third level of learning. To know we know, the reasons behind our addictions. That our Minds designed in the likeness of our creator has the power to find the answer to any riddle. To not believe this is to hold a dis-empowering belief about the capabilities God gave us. And an insult to the one that made us.

Solving the Riddle

Man is slowly solving the Riddles of the Universe. Great thinkers and Philosophers through the ages keep repeating one constant theme, and that is, Mans ability to Manifest in the Universe anything he desires, as long as he truly believes. In order for this to happen he first has to believe he is deserving. So many of us fail to manifest a life we have dream t about because we believe what somebody told us, instead of what history has shown us. Either intentionally or unintentionally we are told that we are either not good enough, or smart enough or deserving enough, to manifest our dreams. Because we believed these people and trusted them, and saw it in their lives, we came to believe it. How can anyone designed in the Image of our creator be undeserving?

In addition to believing that we are deserving, we also must believe that the Universe will provide. We must believe in an abundant Universe, designed for one purpose, to grow man. The Universe just like a fertile field has no choice in what it will or will not grow. The Universe knows nothing about scarcity, it provides in abundance whatever we plant. So even a person who believes they are deserving but plants only negativity and disharmony, will reap it in abundance. It’s the Law of Nature, you reap what you sow.

And finally we need and understanding of our Free Will and the Will of God. We have the freedom to believe whatever we choose to believe. We were not designed to be robots. To believe anything that dis-empowers man is not the correct use of our will. As far as God’s Will for Man, if he designed us in his image, and placed us in a Universe perfectly designed to Grow man, then it only follows that his Will for us is to be happy and prosper. God only sees good, if bad exists it because good, didn’t believe it was good.

It Comes Down To Your Beliefs

It all comes down to our beliefs. The more we focus on the dis-empowering aspects of how we got them, or who’s responsible the more strength we give them. What’s important is the realization that those beliefs are there and that they are not serving us. We must Learn what our true beliefs are. We must know we know that our beliefs are based on empowering principals, and once we know that, we are ready to embark on a new journey.

It’s dis-empowering to believe that we can never know. Life is a journey and to be considered a journey must have a destination, without one it’s only a wandering. Nobody ever said “enjoy wandering”. With beliefs firmly established in empowering principals we begin to realize, that everything that has happened on our journey we call life, needed to happen in order for us to get here. What do you want for your next destination?

As always, thanks for visiting. Dave

 

 

 

 

 

Watch what you Believe

Did you believe these lies?

  • You can see the Great Wall of China from space
  • older elephants near death don’t go off searching for the elephant graveyard
  • Bulls are not enraged by the color red.
  • Dogs don’t sweat by salivating.
  • Lemmings don’t engage in mass suicide
  • Bats are not blind
  • Ostriches don’t stick their head in the sand when frightened
  • Earthworms don’t become two when cut in half
  • House flies live 20 to 30 days not 24 hours
  • Poinsettias are not toxic to humans or cats
  • Computers running Mac are not immune to malware
  • Waking sleepwalkers doesn’t harm them
  • Eating less than an hour before swimming doesn’t increase your chances of drowning
  • Shaving doesn’t cause hair to grow back thicker
  • Hair and nails don’t continue to grow after death
  • Sugar does not cause hyperactivity
  • Alcohol does not kill brain cells
  • Obesity is not related to a slower metabolism
  • Sex before a sporting event is not detrimental to performance
  • Vaccines do not cause autism
  • People do not use only 10% of their brain
  • Stress plays a minor role in hypertension
  • Diamonds are not formed from compressed coal

Conclusion

A lot of what we believe is wrong, especially when it comes to ourselves

As always, thanks for visiting. Dave

 

 

 

A Newbies Review of the Shareasale Network

Affiliate Network vs. Platform

Being new to the online affiliate marketing business, I wanted to give you my insight into what I found when researching and joining my first Affiliate Network. Remember that an Affiliate Network is not the same as an Affiliate Platform. A Network is a group of Merchants that carry an assortment of products. A Platform provides you Website Hosting and related tools you need to promote the products you select.

Who’s being Reviewed

Name: Shareasale

Website: Shareasale.com

Price: Free to become a member

Owners: Awin

Overall Rank: 4.5 out of 5.0

Product Overview

Shareasale is one of the largest Affiliate Marketing Networks currently running. It competes with giants like CJ Affiliates and Clickbank and more than holds its own. They have been in business for 17 years, and have worked hard at becoming one of the top Networks in the business. In doing my due diligence about this company I found their reviews to be very positive. They all stressed how honest and fair they are. They all commended their excellent customer service, efficient tools, and accurate reporting.

My personnel experience (limited as it may be), is that their sign up procedures are very simple and direct. They send a welcome aboard e-mail immediately and tell you how long it will take until you approved. In my case being a brand new Affiliate Publisher, it took two days, at which time I was giving very easy to follow instructions on how to get started.

In 2017 Shareasale was acquired by the Awin Network (an international Affiliate Network) which gives them even more credibility in the business. At this time the two companies continue to run separately but bode well down the road if they ever decide to merge.

The Pros

  • Reputable Company: Being in business for 17 years means you doing something right. Excellent reviews and reputation both on and off-line. Their accusation by Awin further enhances the companies standing in the industry.
  • Free and Easy to Join: As mentioned I found their sign-up procedure to be much easier than a couple of their competitors. They were easy to follow and straightforward, especially when your brand new to the biz. They send you a welcome aboard e-mail and follow up with your approval or denial within days. Once, approved they provide simple step-by-step instructions on how to begin.
  • They allow multiple websites: You don’t have to separately sign up for each website, just list all your website, once approved they all become active.
  • Number and Variety of Merchants: Shareasale has over 40 categories to choose from. This ensures that whatever you want to promote will most likely be available within their network. They currently have over 4800 merchants and are increasing that number almost daily

The Cons

  • They don’t use PayPal for payouts. From what I’ve been seeing a lot of the big networks don’t currently use PayPal, for whatever reason. Luckily I’ll accept a check mailed to my home.
  • High Payout Threshold: Currently its $50.00 before they send a payout, this is a turn off for new Affiliates, who are just getting started.
  • The threat of Fees and Account Deletion: In doing my research I came across, that Shareasale might impose a fee of $25.00 if your account stays under $50.00 for an extended period, I’ve also read that they may delete your account if there is no activity after 90 days. This could be problematic to new Affiliates.
  • Separate Merchant Sign up: I was surprised after being approved by Shareasale that I still had to get separate approval from the Merchants that I wanted to promote. I originally applied to five different merchants and was accepted by three.

Who’s the Product For?

I think all Affiliate Publishers should include Shareasale within their portfolios. With over 4800 merchants to choose from the chances are excellent that you’ll find products you’ll be happy to promote. They offered one of the most balanced product mixes that I saw.

Tools and Training

As with all the Networks I looked at they have a wealth of tools and training materials that you can access, it actually is almost overwhelming. No matter what your skill level maybe you can find the training right for you. Although I didn’t go to deep into this area, I was not hit with a lot of upsells coming out of the gate as I was with a couple of Shareasale’s competitors.

Verdict

I feel that Shareasale offers a great Network to the new Affiliate just breaking into the business. The wide variety of Merchants almost ensures that you’ll find something you’ll be proud to promote. They have an easy to navigate platform and at least initially seem to be more interested in helping you get started as opposed to upselling you additional products. Their training resources are extensive and they encourage you to join their online community. I would rank them a must-have network, as part of your portfolio 4.5 out of 5.0

Learn how to build your own Website and get paid to be an Affiliate Marketer. Click the link below, it’s free.

https://www.wealthyaffiliate.com?a_aid=e78a81fe

As always thanks for visiting, Dave

 

 

 

 

 

Science of the Mind; Everything you know is wrong

Thoughts are Things

Health and sickness are largely externalizations of our dominant mental and spiritual states. An emotional shock, or a mind filled with thoughts of fear, has been known to cause the momentary stoppage or acceleration of the heart. Physicians now testify that, under emotional stress, particularly anger, the blood leaves a chemical deposit around the joints in the body.

Worry, fear, anger, jealousy, and other emotional conditions, are mental in their nature and are being recognized as the hidden cause of a large part of all the physical suffering to which the flesh is the heir. A normal healthy mind reflects itself in a healthy body, and conversely, an abnormal mental state expresses its corresponding condition in some physical condition. Thoughts are things.

Cause and Effect

We are given the power to sit in the midst of our lives and direct their activities. Strife and struggle are unnecessary. We only need to know, but we must know constructively. The material universe was created to manifest what the mind believes. Just so far as we believe upon any condition, past, present, or future we are creating chaos because we are then dealing with conditions (effects) and not the causes. It’s our thinking that causes the effects. And we think the way we do because of our beliefs.

Is it the Ego holding you back

Who told you you’re too old to build muscle tone? Who told you that steam and saunas are bad. Who told you that losing flexibility and balance are just a sign of aging? Whoever it was is lying to you, and if you continue to believe it, it’s because you want to believe it. That dis-empowering belief is comfortable and warm and you’re used to it. The ego is telling you can’t and so you won’t, it says you’ll look foolish or who do you think you are? The ego hates change, it fears that change will push it off the stage and your ego loves the stage. And for years all your ego has been doing is making you sick.

Your Mind can grow Stronger so can you

It’s time to take control of your mind. Understanding how our minds work is a science and we are finding out more about how it works on almost a daily basis. Elkhonon Goldberg in his book “The Wisdom Paradox; How your mind can grow stronger as your brain grows older”, discusses how outdated neurological concepts are being disproved on a daily basis. Science has disproved the idea that we are only given so many brain cells and when they die they don’t regenerate new ones. It’s a lie. Reading his book will change the way you think about aging and your thinking capabilities.

60 is the new 50

If you can buy into that then it isn’t such a leap to think that 70 is the new 60. With the advances in health care and changing consciousness, especially within the Baby Boomer generation, it’s becoming clear that you are what you believe you are. And if you not happy you can change starting NOW. I’m passionate about showing my generation that we don’t have to go meekly into the shadows but instead stay in the sunlight of the spirit for many more years than we may have originally thought possible. So if all of a sudden you realize you have another 20 productive years ahead of you, what do you want to do about it? Don’t die with your dream inside you.

Conclusion

Follow me as I challenge dis-empowering beliefs about what it means to grow old in our society today and how some of our so-called advocates are nothing more than shills for huge corporate interests. Some first and foremost dis-empowering beliefs we have to deal with is what it means to be fit.
And how you can go about it, and have fun.

Learn how you can build your own Website and get paid to Blog. Click the link below, it’s free.

https://www.wealthyaffiliate.com?a_aid=e78a81fe

As always, thanks for visiting. Dave

 

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