If You Believe Your Not Loved?

If You Believe Your Not Loved?

Most beliefs are formed in early childhood, many  we are not even aware of. There is a big difference between the power of beliefs, based on whether they are fundamental or ancillary.

A fundamental belief would be that you are not loved or worthy of love.  Developing this belief causes a disconnection with the world, and the people around you. Ancillary belief is if you believed a certain group of people were not worthy of love.

This disconnection with people sets us adrift in the world, with no connection to society or our place in it. We start to experience the world from the external in as opposed to the internal out. We are the passenger, not the driver, set up to become a victim, we feel powerless.

Life just happens, we don’t believe in anything and we don’t take responsibility for anything. We become dependent on the world and others to take care of us. We develop  addictive personalities, easily addicted to anything that changes the way we feel.

In this situation, we you set ourselves up for constant frustration. Life doesn’t deliver what we want. We want to be made happy, by getting a particular thing or having a particular experience, and until we get it, we live in expectation. Happiness is just around the corner, but never here and now.

As we wait there is a constant gnawing, a sense of irritation, because life is failing to deliver. Unconsciously we feel cheated, everybody seems to be getting what they want. Perversely we judge, criticize, and complain. We push people away without being aware of it. We start to pursue external power by attempting to manipulate and control people. We lie to get what we want it.

Our expectations have been swollen to impossible proportions, to which life can never satisfy. The desires get fiercer and harder then ever to satisfy, this results in a mounting sense of frustration and isolation.

We establish a pattern of a background of anger, fed by the feeling that our deep desires are not being fulfilled. This anger is always just beneath the surface of consciousness. This leaves a very low level of tolerance, so that even a small irrelevant irritation, is enough to make us miserable and depressed.

The search for value and self worth is always desperate, because the pain of wanting to be loved and feeling unlovable, wanting to love and feeling incapable of loving, needing to belong and feeling excluded is unbearable. This is the pain of powerlessness. It lies at the core of the our experience.

Powerlessness is the experience of feeling intrinsically defective, inherently ugly, and without value. It is the fear if others could see us as we really are, they would not want to be with us. It is self hatred, it is desperation.

Avoiding the pain of powerlessness continually determines our perceptions, intentions and actions. We flee them by attempting to manipulate and control circumstances. This is the pursuit of external power. We respond to our perceptions not reality.

Our perceptions are composed of opinions, feelings, thoughts, and beliefs. If we respond to opinion, feelings, and thoughts it’s because of limiting beliefs. All beliefs are limited by nature. We don’t know what we don’t know. How can you identify whats true versus an opinion, feeling or thought.

Our intentions determine our experiences whether or not we are aware of them. We must look for the why beneath the why to find the actual intention. It’s this intention that creates the consequences.

We believe that actions create consequences, and are unaware that it’s the intention behind the action that creates the consequences of the action. When we are aware of our intention (cause), we can predict the consequences that they will create (effect). When we are not aware of our intentions, the experiences that they create are often surprising and most often painful.

These experiences have four things in common.

  1. They express fear.
  2. They are painful to experience.
  3. They create painful destructive consequences.
  4. They are central to our spiritual development.

It’s only through admitting our powerlessness that we can heal. As long as our feelings of powerlessness, remain outside our awareness, we will continue to live in a “sea of suffering”. With out an intervention, our lives unfold robotically from one painful experience to another. We remain victims in the game of life, unaware that we hold the keys to the kingdom.

Only through surrender to a power greater then ourselves can we locate and challenge the dis-empowering beliefs we hold. Even though we want others to remove the pain and emptiness from our lives, we slowly learn that we are  responsible for were we are.  What is behind our eyes becomes more important than what is in front of them.

It’s only by becoming aware of the seeds we are planting (our intentions)  that we can know in advance what crop we will harvest (the consequences of our intentions). To maintain this  awareness, it’s not enough to live one day at a time, we need to live 5 minutes at a time. Our impact on the world is significant whether or not we are aware of it, and even whether or not we desire it.

As always thanks for visiting. Dave

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