The Goal is a Work/Life Balance
Is it possible to achieve a perfect Work/Life balance in today’s fast changing world, or is it just a brass ring tauntingly out of our reach? A lot of us think we have it and don’t and some think they don’t and do. If you suffer from a Narcissistic Personality Disorder, (NPD) it will be impossible for you to form anything close to a perfect Work/Life balance.
Denial Has to be Overcome
There are few occasions in life when we experience “satori” or enlightenment. And even if we experience it, it’s often short lived. What’s interesting, is that often, true long lasting enlightenment, only comes through failure. In order for a Narcissist to have satori, they must reach a level of failure, so complete, that makes it undeniable that something is seriously wrong.
The Seven Life Areas That Need To Be In Balance
People who have achieved a perfect Work/ Life balance have a clear prioritization of the seven most important life areas that comprise this balance. They know what they want in,
- Career and Personal Development
- Health and Recreation
- Routine Responsibilities
- Inner Well-being
Narcissists Can’t Prioritize
Narcissists, either because of genetics or environment form a pattern of dis-empowering beliefs that made prioritizing these seven life areas not only improbable but impossible. Not only are these areas blurred, they overlap to the point of being almost indistinguishable and unrecognizable. Some areas even disappeared altogether.
A Few Dis-Empowering Beliefs
With only a few fundamental dis-empowering beliefs, see The Cause of Addictions; The Bondage of Self, the chance of achieving a perfect life work balance becomes problematic, if not impossible. These beliefs are at the core of the Narcissists understanding of what it is that constitutes reality. They only see their perception of reality, not reality itself. These beliefs could be;
- More is better
- Externals are to blame for my life conditions
- Idealism can’t coexist with realism
- There is only one existence and it’s physical
- We are separate and distinct from everyone else
- There’s an “US versus a “THEM”
- Feelings are real
- People can’t be trusted
- I’m not good enough or smart enough
No Work/Life Balance
With just a few fundamental dis-empowering beliefs, the Narcissist is generally unhappy, disappointed, depressed and often times addicted. Normal relationships are either unfulfilling or unattainable. There is no balance. People don’t enjoy being around you, and you have few true friends.
Denial is the Biggest Obstacle to Overcome
To make matters even worse, these dis-empowering beliefs are usually accompanied with a total lack of self awareness. It’s impossible for the Narcissist to believe that anything could be wrong, any criticism is met with emotional denials.
The “Bondage of Self”
NPD is the Bondage of Self, the belief systems that Narcissists hold only reinforces their false sense of reality. In order to break through this perception and for enlightenment to occur, it takes failing in one or more of the seven life areas. Even then recovery through group and family therapy must be approached deliberately and with caution, focusing first on any addictions then working slowly towards changing the underlying beliefs that lead to the undesirable behaviors.
The Most Common Symptoms of NPD.
- Exaggerated sense of self importance
- Sense of entitlement and a need for admiration
- Exaggerate achievements and talents
- Monopolize conversations, belittle and look down on others
- Take advantage of others to get what they want
- Envious of others and believe others envy them
- Significant interpersonal problems easily slighted
- Difficulty regulating emotions
- Poor stress management
- Secret feelings of insecurity, shame, vulnerability, self loathing
- Addictive personality, gambling, food, sex, drugs, alcohol
- External Locus of Control
It Starts with Awareness
Failure is often the catalysis for change, and developing awareness is the first step needed, in order to change. There are different programs that follow a set number of steps for recovery. NLP has seven, AA has twelve
Neural Linguistics Programing Steps
- Developing Awareness
A Formal Therapy Program
Going through a formal therapy program helps the Narcissist better understand how they experience life. Instead of creating a false self (ego) in order to deal with life from the outside in, dis-empowered and limited. They come to realize that life emanates from the inside out, empowered and unlimited. That it’s through our spiritual or authentic self, our thoughts that create feelings, that lead to action and outcomes.
We Experience Life on Five Levels
All Religions hold the same basic truth. That we were made in the image of our creator. Given a divine mind that will manifest anything we believe. We have free will to believe anything we wish. Once a belief is placed in the Habitual Mind the Unconscious Universe will manifest it, it has no choice, for it is fertile. Our thoughts are based upon our beliefs, they are cause, the effect is our life. Don’t like your life? Change your thoughts.To change your thoughts, change your beliefs.
For more information on Recovery options visit www. bridgestorecovery.com or read https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/communication-success/201410/6-keys-narcissists-change-toward-the-higher-self
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As always, thanks for visiting. Dave