In Support of Neuro Linguistics Programing

Intrigued by NLP

While doing research for a Blog on Addictions, I came across the science of Neural Linguistic Programing. Having first hand knowledge of Alcoholism and over thirty years experience in AA and recovery I was intrigued and wanted to learn more.

Took an NLP Training Class

For my own edification I took an NLP Practitioner Certification Course. I related with a number of the pre-suppositions, and beliefs of NLP, and believe that they could help a person find recovery, either in addition to a 12-step program or as a stand alone program of recovery.  While doing research for a  Blog I wrote on the Origins of Neural Linguistic Programing, I came across a lot of negative information regarding NLP, At the time I wrote the following.

Challenged by Science

Although the the original core techniques were therapeutic in orientation, since the 1980s scientific interest in NLP has faded. The consensus scientific opinion is that  NLP is a pseudoscience, due to the fact that the evidence in favor of it, is limited to anecdotes and personal testimony, and lacks empirical support through controlled trails.

Comments ran Counter to My Experience

These comments didn’t really correspond with my research nor with my personal experiences, so I decided to do a little more research. Since NLP is a type of Psychology, I decided to start my search there.

Psychology and NLP

Psychology is the science dealing with mental phenomena and processes, in particular the study of emotions, perception, intelligence, consciousness and their relationships with each other.

There are eight different types or fields of Psychology, and although there are no fixed way of classifying them, they fall into these common types.

  • Clinical
  • Cognitive
  • Developmental
  • Evolutionary
  • Forensic
  • Health
  • Neuro
  • Occupational

The Goals of Psychology

The four main goals of Psychology are to describe, explain, predict, and control the behavior and mental processes of others.

History of Psychology

Psychology has a long past but only a short history. It’s long past extends down through the ages, ever since human beings developed the capacity to ponder their existence. It’s short history refers to the relatively brief period since Psychology became a modern science, (1879 with the founding of the first laboratory for Psychological research, Leipzig, Germany).

Psychology has it’s Own Problems Being Accepted

It’s my opinion that modern Psychology’s inability to accept NLP, either as a distinct type, or to place it into one of the eight existing types already recognized, is because of it’s own need, of being accepted by Science and Medicine, the science of Pyschology has become unable to accept other creative and innovative approaches to problems, it claims it’s dedicated to solving.

Can’t Measure Mental Processes

Dane Rudhyar, in an article for “The American Theosophist” gave a good summary of what modern Psychology struggles with, and one of the major problems NLP has in getting acceptance. “Objectivity refers to what can be perceived by the senses and the modern instruments that have immensely extended the scope of  sense perceptions. These perceptions, moreover, in order to be acceptable to Science, have to be obtained under strict experimental conditions, they must be repeatable by any trained observer. They must also be measurable and definable in terms of some kind of activity that is a observable and recordable change. Thus the field of scientifically objective knowledge finds itself limited by these conditions. It may be so limited as to lose meaning in some directions.” A lot of the claims made by NLP cannot be objectively measured or repeated in every case.

NLP Doesn’t Fit the Paradigm

Modern Psychology has tried hard to be recognized as a Science, in it’s own right. To fit the definition of a Modernist Science a field must accept the beliefs and assumptions held by Modern Mechanistic Science. They must accept that reality is only what can be proved empirically, they must use the methodology of Mechanistic Science with which to experiment and define truth, and deny or ignore any information that does not match this scientific paradigm. Modern Psychology insists on calling NLP a pseudo-science for this very reason.

The Methodology Doesn’t Fit

Even Psychologists like Jung, Maslow, and other humanists, who were willing to explore subjectivity and introspection, struggled with this underlying issue of mechanistic science methodology. Forced to base a lot of their findings and studies in empirical methods of modern science in order not to set themselves off entirely from what is now considered mainstream science.

How Do You Measure Intuition

NLP which follows a humanistic approach to Psychology with pre-suppositions that bravely introduce as important and necessary, the intuitive, the spiritual, and the power of consciousness, even though these pre-suppositions cannot really be studied by empirical methodology.  NLP has tried to legitimize and prove the validity of their suppositions using the tools, methodology and assumptions of mechanistic science where possible, but sections of the modern science community still find NLP’s hypotheses more subjective then objective.

The Map is not the Territory

Slowly, those looking at scientific paradigms are beginning to see that even science is relative. David Griffin, in his book, “Re enchantment of Science” reaffirms a basic NLP pre-supposition ,(we respond to our map of reality, not reality itself), when he wrote, ” Our interpretations and even perceptions are conditioned by language, by culture in general, by the dominate worldview of the time, by personal (including unconscious) interests, and by interests based on race, gender, and social class. This recognition has led many to the conclusion that a worldview is wholly a construction or a projection, not at all a reflection or a discovery of the way things really are’. Psychology has its own perception of reality.

Truth Based on Prejudices and Interests


In further support to NLPs theories, Griffin further states, “Recognition that the scientific community seeks truth is fully compatible  with the recognition that the truth it seeks are selected according to various interests and prejudices.” (see  Bandler and Grinder). Psychology has a lot of it’s own prejudices.

Orthodoxy, The One True Belief

Basically Psychology has enmeshed itself in a scientific worldview that reveres and believes in the myth of objectivity, (a limited view of objectivity) and does not have the objectivity to reflect upon it’s own assumptions. It continues to to teach that empirical truth is the only real approach to truth. Being purely empirical is an especially difficult task for Psychology because much of what it attempts to study emotion, feelings, interactions, values, perception and perceptions and family patterns are not really amendable to the procedures of mechanistic science. Essentially Psychology cannot be what it wants to be and do what it wants to do.Yet holds NLP to standards it struggles with itself.

Locus of Control

Another refutation of Psychologies mechanistic approach, can be seen in how they view the world, as opposed to the widely accepted theory held by NLP, dealing with Locus of Control.

External Locus of Control

Anne Schaef, writes in her book, “Beyond Therapy Beyond Science” . “In a purely mechanistic science we are determined only by forces operating upon us externally, we are determined solely by our environment and those forces in the environment that can be seen and measured, with the tools of science .This approach to understanding works relatively well with mechanical nonliving matter, that can be manipulated in the laboratory, but it progressively breaks down as one moves to more and more complex organisms”.

External vs. Internal

Mechanistic Science sees humans having an External Locus of Control, this is a very dis-empowering view of how people experience life. Having a limited view of your control of life leads to a victim mentality with limited capabilities, no belief,no spirit and low self esteem. The humanistic science believes in an Internal Locus of Control, this empowering belief believes in self responsibility and an unlimited view of your ability to control life. Confidence that you determine your life, belief in yourself and in a higher power.

Hubris to Condemn

Psychology suffers from the same deficiencies they accuse NLP of having, namely the fact that they cannot properly study what they want to study with the tools of the science with which it aligns itself. It takes hubris to criticize NLP as a legitimate science when they suffer from the same condemnation from scientists and philosophers of pure science, who refuse to think of the human sciences as science at all. This hubris is only surpassed by their short memory of their own fight for legitimacy.

A New Heresy

Willis Harman, Founder of the Center for the Study of Social Policy at Stanford Research Institute wrote, ” Experienced reality does not conform to the reality they taught us in science class. The scientific worldview is not an adequate guide for living life or managing a society. We are seeing, I believe, indications of a “new heresy”, that is challenging modern secular authority at a level as profound as the scientific heresy challenged the ecclesiastical authority in the seventeenth century”.

Changing Paradigms

I am confident that NLP will eventually be accepted within modern Psychology, when their existing paradigms finally start to collapse. Already many question the validity of their feelings about NLP. And more will when they finally accept that, (we don’t know what we don’t know). Many aspects of NLP are already accepted  by many who practice Psychotherapy and  Life Coaching  worldwide.

As always, thanks for visiting. Dave





Trust, Faith and Alcoholism

 Who Do You Trust

Who would you trust, someone who has studied painting for thirty years, or          someone who has painted for thirty years? Someone who has studied digging ditches, or someone who has dug ditches? Someone who has studied alcoholism for thirty years, or someone who has been an alcoholic for thirty years? Someone  who has studied recovery, or someone who has recovered?

Levels of Belief

There are people out there, who believe something because they have studied  it,  then there are people, who believe something because they know it. While  belief is good, there are levels of belief. The belief gained through experience will   always trump the belief gained through education. You can trust the belief gained by education. You can have faith in the belief gained by experience.

 Which is stronger trust or faith?

If you have lived with a dis-empowering belief for thirty years, you can have faith,that you know for fact, it’s dis-empowering. As opposed to the person that has studied a dis-empowering belief for thirty years, he may trust he knows, but he doesn’t have faith he knows. The arrogance of people with education, and a lot of letters following their names, never ceases to astound me.

Beware Experts

The EGO of these people is only surpassed, by how wrong they have been, about so many things. We will laugh when we look back fifty years from now, about what some of the experts believed was true. History has shown us this, over and over. Yet these experts, never stop pontificating, about something they trust to be true, simply because they have studied the problem, only to be proven wrong, by someone who has lived the problem.

It’s About Money

When I hear or read about an expert telling the world, that ALCOHOLISM is an incurable disease, I always wonder, how does he know? You can study it forever, but until you’ve lived it, you can’t really know. I’ve lived it for thirty years, and have seen hundreds of people, including myself, who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless case of mind and body. Is this expert going to tell me, I can’t trust my own experience or what I’ve seen with my own eyes. What is the motivation behind telling people there is no cure? It’s obvious, it’s money.

Call Me Anything but Narcissistic

I’m here to tell everyone, that ALCOHOLISM can be cured, and a lot more people would be cured, if the experts started focusing on the root cause instead of giving simplistic answers to complicated problems. Nobody likes to admit they are a Narcissist. and that’s the problem. It’s a disease that by it’s very nature, manipulates and deflects, peoples attention away from the real problem. It’s like their mantra is, call me anything , but don’t call me a Narcissist.

You Have A Personality Disorder

Well, the jig is up, the cat is out of the bag. Anybody who has read, the symptoms and behaviors, of NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER, only has to attend, say 90 meetings in 90 days, to be thoroughly convinced that this MENTAL ILLNESS is behind all addictions, especially ALCOHOLISM.

Alcoholism is Only a Symptom

The Alcoholism is only a symptom to the real problem. NPD is the “bondage of self”, that is making so many people so unhappy, that they reach for the first thing, that will give them some relief. Unfortunately in our society, that first thing, most easy to obtain, is alcohol. It’s my opinion that this “obsession of the mind”, is NPD, and the sooner people start realizing this, the sooner we will see dramatic improvements in recovery rates. I encourage anyone reading this to start looking at NPD with a critical eye.

Cause and Effect

All beliefs are limited by nature, (we don’t know, what we don’t know). All external events are filtered through our beliefs, which label and give them meaning. From this, emotions are created, that dictate how we respond or react, which leads to outcomes, which creates our lives.

Lack of Power was my Dilemma

Lack of Power is about holding dis-empowering beliefs. Identifying these beliefs is primary, how they got there is secondary. AA believes if you change the behavior and you can change the belief, true empowerment comes when you take responsibility for holding the belief. Responsible thinking is crucial to attaining recovery.

As always, thanks for visiting. Dave

Neuro Linguistic Programing; A Review of it’s Origins and Pre-Suppositions

 Subjective not Objective

For those of you that don’t know what NLP is it stands for Neural Linguistic Programming. The study of the Structure of Subjective Experience and what can be calculated from it. For simplicity look at Subjective as biased theories, and Objective as unbiased theories. Founded by Richard Bandler and John Grinder in 1976.

What is NLP

NLP is a communication model, it is about the internal representation of experience and how people communicate with themselves as well as with others. It focuses on subjective experience and constructed reality. Neural refers to translating sensory experiences into thought processes, both conscious and unconscious. Linguistics is how we capture, conceptualize, then communicate the experience. Programing is how we mentally represent the experience, using regular and systematic patterns of response.

It’s Roots

Alfred Korzybski, most famous for creating the theory of General Semantics in the 1930s. General Semantics deals with human evaluative orientation. Where it’s always possible to give a description of empirical facts, but such descriptions remain just that, descriptions, which necessarily leave out many aspects of the objective.In short language provides a structural “map” of empirical facts, but there can be no “identity”.

Considered Ground Breaking in the 1930s

Humans create their unique cognitive maps of the external world. Today everybody is aware that people differ in their perceptions, even when they are confronted with identical situations. Our past experiences, beliefs, and expectations dramatically shape the ways we see, smell, hear, taste, and feel.

Human Potential Movement

Through Abraham Maslow’s, modeling study of psychological healthy self-actualizers, the Human Potential Movement was launched, and from this came the premises of NLP. Based on Rogers Psychometric research and Glasser’s Reality Therapy the emphasis moved to a solution focused approach to solving psychological, physiological, neurological and emotional problems, and away from the Freudian approach of looking to the past for the solution.

Cognitive Theory

Using the Cognitive Theory, which focused on thoughts being the primary driver of human experience, and that thoughts are revealed primarily as words, self-talk statements, and beliefs. How we think affects how we feel which in turn affects how we behave.


NLP has been influenced by many fields and disciplines and continues to be a fluid approach to communication, personal development and psychotherapy. It claims there is a connection  between neurological processes, language, and behavioral patterns learned through experience, and that these can be changed to achieve specific goals in life.

 Challenged by Science

Although the the original core techniques were therapeutic in orientation, since the 1980s scientific interest in NLP has faded. The consensus scientific opinion is that  NLP is a pseudoscience, due to the fact that the evidence in favor of it, is limited to anecdotes and personal testimony, and lacks empirical support through controlled trails.

No Empirical Evidence

A systematic review of experimental studies by Sturt et al in 2012 concluded that “there is little evidence that NLP interventions improve health related outcomes. In a review Stephen Briers writes “NLP is not really a cohesive therapy but a ragbag of different techniques without a particularly clear theoretical basis and its evidence base is virtually non-existent.”

Why It’s Still Popular

It’s generic nature enables it to still be applied to other fields such as persuasion, sales, negotiations, management training, sports psychology, team building and public speaking. It has shifted it’s emphasis to the study of self improvement, and communication, both with yourself and others. By utilizing its vast array of best practices, concepts and techniques, they now claim to be able to help people get in control of their minds, emotional states and improve the general quality of their lives.

Is it a Placebo

In  this and in subsequent blogs I will attempt to do an in depth review of NLP, in which we will take a look at this ragbag of techniques in order to see what’s behind all the noise and why it’s still being aggressively marketed on the internet both as a self improvement course and a life coach certification course. I don’t  write off any pseudo science. My research in placebos has shown me that there is a lot science doesn’t understand, and the bigger the problem the better a placebo works.

NLP believes People Are Inherently Good

To understand the basics you first should look at NLP pre-suppositions. When I first started reading these, it immediately brought to mind, the theory X and Y Management Styles that I learned back in the eighties. Simply put a Theory X manager basically thinks people are bad and inherently lazy, thus they must be managed with a strong hand. Theory Y on the other hand believes people are inherently good and want to do a good job, they can be managed with a more enlightened attitude. While theory X is productive in the short term it doesn’t age well and causes problems down the road. Theory Y is preferable but can go to the other extreme with people taking advantage.

Now lets look at the pre-suppositions

  • Each behavior was the best choice an individual had at that particular time.
  • Behind every behavior lies a positive intention
  • There is no such thing as failure only feedback exists
  • If what you do doesn’t work try something different
  • The map is not the territory, perception is projection
  • The individual with the most flexibility wins
  • You cannot not communicate/manipulate
  • Everyone already has the needed resources available to achieve desired results
  • There are no incapable people only incapable states.
  • The body is the mind
  • The past is not equal to the future
  • People aren’t broken
  • Everything is achievable
  • Empowerment comes via responsibility
  • People respond to perception not reality

Should Be Taught In High School, College,and Businesses

I think anyone reading these, would have to agree, that these are very humanistic assumptions, and I wonder why courses in Semantics and Ethics are not requirements in Colleges and Universities today. and more consistently utilized in management training within organizations.

Challenge What People Believe

It’s about challenging dis-empowering beliefs, NLP feels that all beliefs are limited by nature, and that we don’t know what we don’t know. When we respond to opinion, feelings and thoughts it’s because of limiting beliefs. Society today could  reflect on some of these principles

How We Experience Life

Life manifests itself from the inside out. It starts with our thoughts then to our attitudes, through our beliefs, and finally our feelings. Just a little to get you interested, stay tuned for my next post, where I’ll cover the five ways we experience life and a lot more.

No matter what your age or avocation, I’m convinced that everyone has a best seller in them. Don’t die with your story inside you. There is a Website that will train you, filled with a community of like minded people, to help and encourage you,  in achieving your goals. Check out my custom sign up page. It’s free to try it out, what have you got to lose.

As always, thanks for visiting. Dave

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

The Goal is a Work/Life Balance

Is it possible to achieve a perfect Work/Life balance in today’s fast changing world, or is it just a brass ring tauntingly out of our reach? A lot of us think we have it and don’t and some think they don’t and do. If you suffer from a Narcissistic Personality Disorder, (NPD) it will be impossible for you to form anything close to a perfect Work/Life balance.

Denial Has to be Overcome

There are few occasions in life when we experience “satori” or enlightenment. And even if we experience it, it’s often short lived. What’s interesting, is that often, true long lasting enlightenment, only comes through failure. In order for a Narcissist to have satori, they must reach a level of failure, so complete, that makes it undeniable that something is seriously wrong.

The Seven Life Areas That Need To Be In Balance

People who have achieved a perfect Work/ Life balance have a clear prioritization of the seven most important life areas that comprise this balance. They know what they want in,

  1. Relationships
  2. Career and Personal Development
  3. Finances
  4. Health and Recreation
  5. Routine Responsibilities
  6. Contribution
  7. Inner Well-being

Narcissists Can’t Prioritize

Narcissists, either because of genetics or environment form a pattern of dis-empowering beliefs that made prioritizing these seven life areas not only improbable but impossible. Not only are these areas blurred, they overlap to the point of being almost indistinguishable and unrecognizable. Some areas even disappeared altogether.

A Few Dis-Empowering Beliefs

With only a few fundamental dis-empowering beliefs, see The Cause of Addictions; The Bondage of Self, the chance of achieving a perfect life work balance becomes problematic, if not impossible. These beliefs are at the core of the Narcissists understanding of what it is that constitutes reality. They only see their perception of reality, not reality itself. These beliefs could be;

  1. More is better
  2. Externals are to blame for my life conditions
  3. Idealism can’t coexist with realism
  4. There is only one existence and it’s physical
  5. We are separate and distinct from everyone else
  6. There’s an “US versus a “THEM”
  7. Feelings are real
  8. People can’t be trusted
  9. I’m not good enough or smart enough

No Work/Life Balance

With just a few fundamental dis-empowering beliefs, the Narcissist is generally unhappy, disappointed, depressed and often times addicted. Normal relationships are either unfulfilling or unattainable. There is no balance. People don’t enjoy being around you, and you have few true friends.

Denial is the Biggest Obstacle to Overcome

To make matters even worse, these dis-empowering beliefs are usually accompanied with a total lack of self awareness. It’s impossible for the Narcissist to believe that anything could be wrong, any criticism is met with emotional denials.

 The “Bondage of Self”

NPD is the Bondage of Self, the belief systems that Narcissists hold only reinforces their false sense of reality. In order to break through this perception and for enlightenment to occur, it takes failing in one or more of the seven life areas. Even then recovery through group and family therapy must be approached deliberately and with caution, focusing first on any addictions then working slowly towards changing the underlying beliefs that lead to the undesirable behaviors.

 The Most Common Symptoms of NPD.

  1. Exaggerated sense of self importance
  2. Sense of entitlement and a need for admiration
  3. Exaggerate achievements and talents
  4. Monopolize conversations, belittle and look down on others
  5. Take advantage of others to get what they want
  6. Envious of others and believe others envy them
  7. Significant interpersonal problems easily slighted
  8. Difficulty regulating emotions
  9. Poor stress management
  10. Secret feelings of insecurity, shame, vulnerability, self loathing
  11. Addictive personality, gambling, food, sex, drugs, alcohol
  12. External Locus of Control

It Starts with Awareness

Failure is often the catalysis for change, and developing awareness is the first step needed, in order to change. There are different programs that follow a set number of steps for recovery. NLP has seven, AA has twelve

Neural Linguistics Programing Steps

  1. Developing Awareness
  2. Discovery
  3. Ownership
  4. Exposure
  5. Intention
  6. Action
  7. Integration

A Formal Therapy Program

Going through a formal therapy program helps the Narcissist better understand how they experience life. Instead of creating a false self (ego) in order to deal with life from the outside in, dis-empowered and limited. They come to realize that life emanates from the inside out, empowered and unlimited. That it’s through our spiritual or authentic self, our thoughts that create feelings, that lead to action and outcomes.

We Experience Life on Five Levels

  1. Physical
  2. Emotional
  3. Rational
  4. Volitional
  5. Spiritual


All Religions hold the same basic truth. That we were made in the image of our creator. Given a divine mind that will manifest anything we believe. We have free will to believe anything we wish. Once a belief is placed in the Habitual Mind the Unconscious Universe will manifest it, it has no choice, for it is fertile. Our thoughts are based upon our beliefs, they are cause, the effect is our life. Don’t like your life? Change your thoughts.To change your thoughts, change your beliefs.

For more information on Recovery options visit www. bridgestorecovery.com or read https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/communication-success/201410/6-keys-narcissists-change-toward-the-higher-self

If your interested in learning how to increase your presence on the internet, and learn how to create your own blog, join me within Wealthy Affiliates, you can register here to create your free starter membership. Join the community, learn how you can get your voice heard


As always, thanks for visiting. Dave







The Future of Learning

Something Has To Give

Traditional education is broken! Have you ever heard the quote, “Those that can’t teach”? This is one of the reasons that traditional classroom education is failing especially at the College and University levels, but it’s not the main reason.The main reason is that a college education has become big business. For the last fifty years the focus of higher education has been moving from the student to the bottom line.

College Administrators Call The Shots

This preoccupation with the bottom line has even caused the status of the Educators to fall below Administrators. Educators are not only outnumbered and paid less then Administrators, they have almost no voice in policy and stand meekly aside, as Administrators call all the shots and set all the rules.

Who Wants To Be A Debt Slave

The incredible increase in Tuition over the last fifty years, ( At the University of Denver, a credit hour cost $43.75 in 1973, today it costs $1300.00 a credit hour) is not only creating generations of debt slaves, it is quickly driving these institutions into irrelevancy. More and more a College Diploma is looking like a poor investment.

Old Fashion Way Of Teaching

It’s been said that if you took a student out of a college lecture hall in 1908 and placed him on a modern Campus of today, the only thing he would recognize as familiar would be the lecture hall. The only change is a white board instead of a black board.

Self-Learning Movement

As Colleges and Universities continue to slip unconsciously into irrelevance, a new method of learning is emerging, that is distinctly different then anything we’ve seen before. The old model of E-Learning is being supplanted by a hybrid being called Self-Learning.

Teach A Skill You Know

Technology is making it possible now for “Those that can” to also teach. The future of Learning in the 21st Century is where successful entrepreneurs will use a Mastermind approach, utilizing internet communities, workshops and groups to teach their targeted market the skills they currently use. They will either promote themselves, virtually or in person, as the expert, reporter or broker of the skills desired.

The Technology Is There

Using a wide variety of internet technologies these Self-Learning Entrepreneurs will be able to identify their customers, create a need, promote their product, offer an irresistible offer, and establish a sales funnel that handles the transactions and establishes an e-mail list for future offers and follow-up.

Recession Proof

In an Economy that will continue to see advances in technology and automation, we will see jobs that are common today, become obsolete tomorrow. This model is recession proof as more and more people are displaced.

E-Learning Is Changing

We are seeing the mainstay components of what we know as E-Learning today  changing at a very fast rate. Writing an e-book or hard bound book while providing immediate credibility and offer potential is still a laborious endeavor, especially when you take into consideration that 95% of all the books in Barnes and Nobel sell less then 1000 copies.

You Can Teach Thousands

Creating and producing on-line courses are not only expensive productions to produce, but studies show that only 9% of people actually finish a course once they start. Technology now allows you to personally give a course to potential thousands with very little overhead. And maintain that sense of community and immediacy that people are looking for.

It’s a brave new world and the methods and models of even a few years ago are changing.

No matter what your age or avocation, I’m convinced that everyone has a best seller in them. Don’t die with your story inside you. There is a Website that will train you, filled with a community of like minded people, to help and encourage you,  in achieving your goals. Check out my custom sign up page. It’s free to try it out, what have you got to lose.

As always, thanks for visiting. Dave


Neuro-Linguistic Programming; The Pre-Suppositions

NLP stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming, a name that encompasses the three most influential components involved in producing human experience: neurology, language and programming.  ).NLP is a pragmatic school of thought – an ‘epistemology’ – that addresses the many levels involved in being human.

NLP is a multi-dimensional process that involves the development of behavioral competence and flexibility, but also involves strategic thinking and an understanding of the mental and cognitive processes behind behavior.

NLP provides tools and skills for the development of states of individual excellence, but it also establishes a system of empowering beliefs and presuppositions about what human beings are, what communication is and what the process of change is all about.

In essence, all of NLP is founded on six fundamental presuppositions:

1. The Map is Not the Territory. As human beings, we can never know reality. We can only know our perceptions of reality. It is generally not reality that limits us or empowers us, but rather our map of reality.

2. The Past Doesn’t Equal the Future.   These systems are based on certain ‘self-organizing’ principles and naturally seek optimal states of balance or homeostasis.Believing that we ar doomed to repeat the past, leads to a lack of self-esteem and a general feeling of hopelessness.

3. People Aren’t Broken.The idea of original sin is a dis-empowering belief. Part of religious orthodoxy in the west, this fallacy is not prevalent in most eastern religions.

4. Everything is Achievable. Just because we don’t know how, doesn’t mean it’s not possible. The word impossible is a dis-empowering belief that minimizes hope. You can achieve by forming appropriate strategies.

5. Empowerment Comes Via Responsibility. Dependence upon how others see us, feel about us or approve of us affects all our actions. There are no gurus. True maturity is the acceptance of responsibility.

6. People Respond to Perception Not Reality. Our minds filter the world to agree with our beliefs. As a man thinks so shall he be. Just because we assume doesn’t mean it is.

Scientist theorize that the world pushes two billion bits of information a second. Humans only adsorb 134,000 bits per second, using our five senses and our beliefs which automatically eliminate bits that don’t conform.We eliminate more then we take in. We then compare this collage to our mental library of beliefs, to determine what it means, and how it makes us feel, only then do we respond. Our reality is all about the story in our heads.

All of the models and techniques of NLP are based on the combination of the above per-suppositions. In the belief system of NLP it is not possible for human beings to know objective reality. Rather, the goal is to create the richest map possible that respects the systemic nature and ecology of ourselves and the world we live in.

The people who are most effective are the ones who have a map of the world that allows them to perceive the greatest number of available choices and perspectives. NLP is a way of enriching the choices that you have and perceive  in the world around you.

Excellence comes from having many choices. Wisdom comes from having multiple perspectives. Through the years, NLP has developed some very powerful tools and skills for communication and change in a wide range of professional areas including: counseling, psychotherapy, education, health, creativity, law, management, sales, leadership and parenting.

NLP is now in its fith decade as a field of study and has evolved considerably since its beginnings in the mid 1970s. Over the years, NLP has literally spread around the world and has touched the lives of millions of people.

Since the 1990’s, a new generation of NLP has been developing. This form of NLP addresses generative and systemic applications and focuses on high level issues such as identity, vision and mission.

Follow me as I continue to plumb the depths of this Science, extrapolating the key components, for your review and consideration.

As always, thanks for visiting. Dave





Want to Learn How to Blog?

The Key to a Good Blog

The key  to writing a good Blog is understanding that people will learn from you, listen to you, love you, buy from you, and hire you when they feel you understand them, not when they understand you. Most people who write Blogs, all they do is sell, and sell, and sell, wanting to be understood or prove they are offering a benefit, instead of seeking to understand why the person is reading their Blog in the first place.

Write Interesting Content

If you really want to understand a person and help them, give them some good content in the niche your writing about. As long as your honest, emotionally engaging and relevant, you will start building a following, of loyal readers.

Why People Start Blogs

People consider trying to start their own Blogs for any number of reasons. Perhaps you’re a Baby Boomer who has been in a job for thirty or forty years, not because you love it, but because it was something you fell into, or it was the responsible thing to do. Or perhaps what your doing has dampened your enthusiasm for life, especially when you think your capable of so much more. Does this sounds like you? .

Perhaps your a Baby Boomer that has been displaced because the job became obsolete or you were simply to expensive to keep, and your shocked, to find out that the job market has changed, and someone your age is not only not considered a good hire, but actually a liability. Does this sound like you?

Perhaps your just sick of listening to someone giving you orders, at the same mundane job you’ve had for a decade, or the job is becoming more and more insecure, and your living from day to day hoping to not hear the words, “we’re closing the store”. If your in retail this could be you.

Or maybe you’re struggling with the feeling of having untapped potential, you fear you’re living just an OK life, rather then the life of your dreams. Maybe your looking to find something that can secure your finances, because your back is against the wall, or maybe your a retired person bored out of your mind, just looking for a challenge. Maybe your just sick of living in fear, of financial insecurity and not being independent. Does this sound like you? Obviously, there are many reasons why people consider starting their own Blog.

Intellectual vs. Emotional

There are hundreds of intellectual reasons why someone would consider writing a blog, but only a few emotional ones. Maybe your just sick of reading other peoples opinions. Or your afraid technology is passing you bye. You want to be more internet savvy.

Take Your Time

If your willing to take the time and find your emotional why, you will be able to determine if your serious about Blogging and have given it some thought, as  opposed to the person who is just fishing, not sure what they want to do or accomplish.

Focus on What They Want

Being successful at Blogging is about finding your niche, something you care about or know about and simply writing about it. It’s about being the best you can be and giving people the benefit of your experience or knowledge. Understanding how others think and feel, is the foundation of writing a good Blog. With good content you will be able to attract and persuade others.

Be Yourself Not A Robot

One of the challenges we have in modern life is that there are so many options to do so many great things. That’s why learning how to start a Blog Site is so rewarding. The skills you learn Blogging can be the foundation for a new career. Creating your own Website and starting to write will take you to another level. Authenticity and enthusiasm outweigh perfection and structure almost every time.

Be Open

In order to get to your emotional why, you have to be honest, open and authentic. Don’t pretend to be someone your not or even exaggerate who you are, false hype is just as harmful as being inauthentic.

Be Real

People who rely on hype instead of understanding their why, rarely succeed. If readers detect hype or BS, they tune out or just leave. Transparency is a better strategy every time and in every situation. What ever you write about, people can see through insincerity and falseness.

What are You Looking For

Specifically ask yourself these questions and listen to your answers.

  • What is your pain?
  • What is your fear?
  • Why do you think that way?
  • What are your stresses?
  • What are your limiting beliefs and empowering beliefs?
  • What are your goals and dreams?
  • How can you solve your problem, and help others?

Listen To Yourself

Have this internal conversation in your head. Once you understand your own motivations, your better able to educate and even motivate others. Helping to inform, explain or solve problems is rewarding. Writing about things your passionate about and feeling like your making a difference can change your life and the way you feel about yourself..

Find your Emotional Why

Becoming a writer is a rewarding intellectual enterprise. Learning the ins and outs of how to build a professional Blog Site will give you skills that will benefit you for years to come. Additional income opportunities will present themselves. But you have to have a solid emotional reason why you want to pursue becoming a Blogger. By asking these seven questions, you can quickly find out what your emotional why is.

  • Why now, what’s held you back?
  • What’s your biggest fear about doing this?
  • What’s your biggest hope?
  • What do you want to achieve?
  • Why do you want to achieve that?
  • How would that make you feel?


No matter what your age or avocation, I’m convinced that everyone has a best seller in them. Don’t die with your story inside you. There is a Website that will train you, filled with a community of like minded people, to help and encourage you,  in achieving your goals. Check out my custom sign up page. It’s free to try it out, what have you got to lose.



As always, thanks for visiting. Dave

Decline of the Retail Store; And The Rise Of Network Marketing

The Change is Historic

The systemic change in the retail landscape is historic. Affecting the five distinct types of retail stores. All Brick and Mortar operations are struggling to stay both competitive and relevant in the face of the ever increasing popularity, of buying on-line. With  deep assortments,lower prices, free shipping and liberal return policies the on-line stores have been able to hit them where it hurts.The ability to buy in the comfort of your own home without fighting traffic and dealing with poor management and surely sales people, seems like a win win to most people. Lets look at a sample of what’s happening .

Traditional Department Stores; This segment has been especially hard hit over the last twenty years, Macy’s has been in slow decline for years, closing 129 Stores since 2015, and now Lord &Taylor, the 192 year old company announced it’s closing 20% of it’s stores, with Abecrombie & Fitch  closing 29 stores. Luxury items were the first segment to see the effect of on-line sales.

Promotional Department Stores; Sears continues to struggle announcing the closing of 80 more stores, with J C Penny closing another 140 stores. And recently Shopko announced they will be closing 70% of their stores. The ripple effect from luxury to now promo priced goods.

Discount Department Stores; Kmart announced closing an additional 284 Stores with Family Dollar announcing the closure of 390 stores. Even discounters can’t compete with on-line prices.

Specialty Stores; Have been especially hard hit. Children’s Place closing 300 stores, Payless closing 2500 stores,Gymboree 800 stores, Charlotte Russe 94 stores. Gap 230 stores, H & M 160 stores, even Starbucks announced closing 150 stores. Not to mention that Foot Locker, Toys R Us, and Baby R Us  disappeared in 2018.

Warehouse Stores; Lowes closing 50 stores, and Sam’s Club announced they are closing 60 stores.

A fundamental Re-alignment

This isn’t by any means a complete list but I think that it highlights the fact that Brick and Mortar stores are not going through a minor shake out of under performing stores, but instead this is a fundamental change in the retail landscape. Experts predict 8,640 stores will close this year,and this change has been going on for years and looks like it will continue into the next five years easy.

Tech Over Takes Retail Industry

E-Commerce continues to take a larger piece of the Retail pie. 517 Billion in 2018 up a incredible 15% from the prior year. Vacant retail space has reached record highs across the country, driving down the price to lease, to an all time low. While bewildered CEO’s lament that they built to many stores, and were asleep at the switch, as internet shopping took off.

Hundreds of Thousands Displaced Workers

The question I keep asking myself is where are all these retail employees going? Not only the hourly associates but logistics, traffic, warehouse, buyers and management personnel. 89,000 jobs gone since October alone, with tens of thousands more on the way. Not to mention a lot of CEO’s who will never get hired again.

Network Marketing Offers a Solution

If you can’t beat them join them. Network Marketing is a logical next step for a professional retailer who has been thrown out on the streets. You only have to look at the massive explosion of Network Marketing (M.L.M) businesses over the last five years, to see that they are absorbing a lot of these displaced retailers.  The industry has seen a 90%  growth over the last ten years.

Control Your Own Destiny

Network Marketing is so varied in it’s product offerings, that it appeals to almost everyone, and has become a popular option for many of these displaced professionals, who want to take control their own lives and not be at the mercy of Corporate Retail, which has shown themselves to be greedy, short sighted, and terribly misinformed.

Why Are So Many Afraid

Not only do these professionals want self control of their own destinies, they want to control their own schedule, be their own boss, work from home and have unlimited income potential. The only industry that can give them all these things and more is Network Marketing. So why are so many professionals still skeptical about Network Marketing? see Why Boomers Get UberJobs There are a number of reasons, lets take a look at a few of them.


Say Multi Level Marketing to someone in their fifties or sixties and they immediately think scam. While the industry had a reputation problem in it’s infancy, recent years have seen a lot of changes. The clearest distinction between the scams and the legit businesses is in “the push” to sign on reps, as opposed to the actual selling of product. Often scams have hefty sign-on fees to become a rep and this is what fuels the Ponzi scheme. A legitimate model, by contrast, is one where there are incentives in place, to reward those who are actually selling the product to customers, rather then just to other reps in their down line.

High Failure Rate

The reason for the high failure rate in Network Marketing, is that most people don’t treat it like a business with deadlines, goals, action plans, budgets etc. Nor do they put in the work that it takes to build a sales and marketing business. It’s easy to be distracted working at home. They are often not teachable and don’t function well in a team environment. You won’t succeed if you only rely on your family and friends for your sales.

Believe in Your Product

It’s all about finding a product you believe in an marketing it. As you develop your social media skills and start finding customers, you will also find people that want to be more then just a customer. The beautiful thing about Network Marketing is that you do better when people you bring on do better. You have a vested interest in seeing them reach self-actualization.

Building a Network is Rewarding

Working on a simple model of finding three foundation team members, and then training them to find their three foundation members and so on, will quickly lead to a down line that creates a substantial residual income. The business is all about being in it for yourself but not by yourself. Network marketing is a business that develops you as a leader, and with success comes the confidence to take on larger and larger challenges as you push yourself to help more and more people.

No matter what your age or avocation, I’m convinced that everyone has a best seller in them. Don’t die with your story inside you. There is a Website that will train you, filled with a community of like minded people, to help and encourage you,  in achieving your goals. Check out my custom sign up page. It’s free to try it out, what have you got to lose.

As always, thanks for visiting. Dave










Increase Your Sales; Improve The Way You Sound.

Anonymity of The Phone

It’s surprising, how much our personalities change, when we talk on the phone. Some people become aggressive, others shy. It’s something about the anonymity of the telephone, that causes us to change our personalities.

We Create a Sub-Conscious Picture

There is another aspect to this particular phenomenon. When we see a person, their appearance influences our ears. An attractive person projects a more pleasing sound then an unattractive person. We are not conscious of this, but the part does influence the whole, our reaction to one facet affects our reaction to the balance. On the telephone , where your voice is the sole indication of the invisible you, you should consciously make an effort to speak in as warm and pleasant a voice as you can. Even when you mirror your prospect.

You Can Hear It In Your Voice

How you sound is affected by your inner attitude as well as your facial expressions. A frown or a smile will literally show in your voice. One’s attitude, mental and physical state, and personality all are subtly revealed in the voice. Tension or fatigue produce physiological changes in the throat and mouth muscles which alter the quality of your voice. We are rarely conscious of these emotional variations. Be up to call, walk around, be energetic.

Don’t Sound Like a Robot

Other factors that add presence to your voice, are pronunciation and the words we use, combined with diction and rhythm. Don’t use three syllables words when two syllables will work. Our diction and vocabulary is typically very bad, a lot of experts, blame television for this. We are becoming a nation of non-readers and with the increase use of text, possibly non-talkers as well. This becomes painfully obvious if you ever listen to someone using a script. Never read a script, know it and use it as a guide. We can improve our diction and rhythm by practicing one simple sentence, you’ll see an improved speech pattern almost immediately. The sentence goes like this:

The Inaudible Comma Exercise

If, I, were, to, place, an, invisible, comma, after, each, word, and, an, invisible, semicolon; after, some, words, my, speech, would, have, presence.

It’s About the Rhythm

Practice this sentence until the rhythm becomes natural. Professionals have one thing in common namely, that each, word, stands, by, itself, that is their secret. Many of us also make the mistake of talking in a monotone, with no modulation of pitch. The inaudible comma exercise will also help with modulation, the goal is to develop a completely natural sound. The better it flows the easy you are to listen to.

We Sound Different To Others

It’s interesting that we never sound on tape as we do in our mind’s ear. The disparity between how we think we sound and how we actually sound can be glaring and attributed to the fact that we are on the inside; that is, the vibrations are in our own heads, so the end result is different from someone hearing us on the outside.

Tape Yourself

We can improve how our voice sounds by taping ourselves. Listen to how you  sound by taping yourself. Only by being conscious of what needs changing can there be improvement. After repeated playbacks, the adjustments you need to make in the speed, volume, pitch and tonal quality will become apparent. Problems with tension and other psychological factors like nervousness or lack of confidence may require even more practice.

Be a Professional

Correcting these common speech patterns requires awareness, a good ear, concentrated effort and above all, the desire to improve. By projecting a professional sound to your prospect, you will be amazed at how more willing they will be, to not only listen to you, but to buy from you and maybe even join you.

No matter what your age or avocation, I’m convinced that everyone has a best seller in them. Don’t die with your story inside you. There is a Website that will train you, filled with a community of like minded people, to help and encourage you,  in achieving your goals. Check out my custom sign up page. It’s free to try it out, what have you got to lose.

As always, thanks for visiting. Dave

How To Telemarket; 15 Tips On How To Lift The 800LB Phone

These might sound simple but they really work.

  1. They can’t hurt you.
  2. Make it a Game
  3. Be willing to take risks.
  4. Have Fun
  5. Script out your entire call
  6. Warm it up as much as possible
  7. The more you talk about you the worse you do
  8. Know your first seven seconds cold
  9. Engage them to start talking
  10. Don’t run away after the call
  11. Be consistent daily
  12. Compliment
  13. Compel
  14. Confirm
  15. Relax and be yourself

For a lot of us that have never had to approach a prospect by phone. it can be quite unnerving. To many take themselves way to seriously, and don’t allow their true personality to shine through. If you make a mistake with the script, don’t worry, the prospect isn’t going to notice, unless you point it out.The important thing is to be yourself and remember, Don’t take it personal.

As always, thanks for visiting. Dave

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