What is Gravatar; Create Your Own Avatar

What’s an Avatar

In order to understand Gravatar you first need to know what an Avatar is. An Avatar is an image that represents you on-line. It’s a little picture that appears next to your name, when you interact with other websites.

What’s a Gravatar

A Gravatar is a Globally Recognized Avatar. Using Gravatar.com you create your profile and upload it along with the picture you select,and it automatically uploads to any Gravatar-enabled site, anytime you leave a comment.

It’ Free

Gravatar is a free service for site owners, Developers and users. It is automatically included in every WordPress.com account. If you want to be identified on the web, then you should use an Avatar from Gravatar.

It Looks Professional

A primary essence of building your personal brand, is to engage with topics and niches,in your industry. Using Gravatar puts a face to a name and eventually people, who see you repeatedly, will visit your site. Many feel that it looks professional and adds credibility, and that using Gravatar makes your comments stand out.

WordPress themes already come with Gravatar integration, if your theme doesn’t have it consider adding it as a plug in.

Primary Reasons to Use Gravatar

  1. You can link your social media profile links and boost their search engine credibility.
  2. You can add your personal website links to increase traffic, from your engagement activities.
  3. You can add multiple sets of images that you generally use on social media to enhance your image search optimization.
  4. Able to add logo to help build brand authority.

Potential Drawbacks

  1. Privacy, because you signed up in Gravatar your image will show up in all comments you make.
  2. Negative impact on site speed.

If your concerned about privacy you can still select a generic landscape or cartoon image. As far as the speed concern, while it’s true that Gravatar could potentially slow down your site, it would take 100s of comments to do so. Slow speed can negatively impact SEO, since Google ranking factors include site speed. If you suffer from too many comments to your posts, a plug in you can implement is WP User Avatar.

These drawbacks may not be a huge concern, but you never know when a post will attract an unusual number of comments.

I’m interested in hearing any comments pro or con dealing with Gravatar and the use of an Avatar in general. And as always, thanks for visiting. Dave









Who Told you that? What do you Believe?

Who Told you that?

What is a belief and how do we come to believe? Often it can be a
ridiculous comment or something you read, that resonates with something
in your subconscious mind. If you want to start evaluating some of your
beliefs, look at your behaviors.

Look at your Behaviors

If your impatient, it’s because you believe it will help you get
what you want sooner. If you complain, it’s because you believe it helps
you feel better about things you can’t change. If your defiant, it’s
because you believe it works to solve problems. If your a critic, it’s
because you believe you need to compare yourself to others. If your
envious, it’s because you believe what you have isn’t enough. If your
jealous it’s because you don’t believe in love.

Do you believe these lies?

  • You can see the Great Wall of China from space.
  • Older elephants near death don’t go off searching for the elephant graveyard.
  • Bulls are not enraged by the color red.
  • Dogs don’t sweat by salivating.
  • Lemmings don’t engage in mass suicide.
  • Bats are not blind.
  • Ostriches don’t stick their head in the sand when frightened.
  • Earthworms don’t become two when cut in half.
  • House flies live 20 to 30 days not 24 hours.
  • Poinsettias are not toxic to humans or cats.
  • Computers running Mac are not immune to malware.
  • Waking sleepwalkers doesn’t harm them.
  • Eating less than an hour before swimming doesn’t increase your chances of drowning.
  • Shaving doesn’t cause hair to grow back thicker.
  • Hair and nails don’t continue to grow after death.
  • Sugar does not cause hyperactivity.
  • Alcohol does not kill brain cells.
  • Obesity is not related to a slower metabolism.
  • Sex before a sporting event is not detrimental to performance.
  • Vaccines do not cause autism.
  • People do not use only 10% of their brain.
  • Stress plays a minor role in hypertension.
  • Diamonds are not formed from compressed coal.


A lot of what we believe is wrong, especially when it comes to what
we think about ourselves. Once you become aware that a lot of what you
believe is wrong, you can start to change the belief. But awareness come
first, and often times it never comes at all. If you’ve become aware
that some of what you believe is wrong, you’ve been given a gift. The
gift of self-awareness is precious and can open the door to a whole new
you. It’s your choice if you walk through or not.

As always, thanks for visiting. Dave




Politically Incorrect; Thinking of Selling Life Insurance? Don’t

They Only Want To Sell Your Friends And Family

If you are in your mid fifties, and have to re-invent yourself, a lot of people look at selling Life Insurance as a possible career choice, but don’t do it, and hears why. When it comes to hiring new agents, Life Insurance companies, LIE. The only thing, Life Insurance Companies are interested in, is your circle of friends and family. They look at new agents as Sales Funnels to new business. These companies have no incentive to limit hiring, they offer jobs to anyone interested and hope that a small percentage will at least be able to sell their friends and family. But Let’s start at the beginning.

Licensing Is A Cottage Industry

The whole Insurance licensing procedure, is a cottage industry in and of itself. In order to sell Insurance you need to obtain a license from the State in which you want to sell. In order to obtain such license, you need to pass the States Insurance examination. An exam based on a fifth grade reading level and can be passed with a few days of study. There are numerous testing companies approved by the State to give the examination, they charge anywhere from $90.00 to $125.00 each time you take the examination. Before taking the examination it’s strongly suggested, especially by the Insurance company, that you complete an on-line training course, there are many of these available on the internet and they charge anywhere from $100.00 to $200.00, depending on the license you’re seeking to obtain. Once you pass the test you are required to get finger printed and your background checked, this usually this costs anywhere from $15.00 to $25.00.

They Hire Almost Anyone

Most Insurance Companies prefer a College Degree but this is not mandatory. And while they prefer that you already be licensed this is also not mandatory. Actually a lot of Companies will help you become licensed, and it just so happens that they have the perfect on-line course for you, they may even offer a reimbursement, after you make your first sale. This should be illegal. They will often allow you to start training on their products before a license is obtained. All training is at your expense, and this should also be illegal.

You Don’t Get Paid

The majority of Agents work on a commission basis, which means that the pay is directly related to the sales you close. Most Insurance companies pay on a strictly commission basis with no base salary. All the training you attend comes at no cost to the company, they love not having to pay to train, this is also where they start pressuring you, to think about who among your family and friends, could use the policies being discussed. The trainer is required to go with you on any appointments you make, with your friends or family, and usually takes a piece of your commission if a sale is made. This is the sales funnel.

Like Working For A Call Center For Free

Most Insurance Companies state that they provide hot sales leads to their agents, this is a LIE. If the new agent doesn’t have a book of friends and family to start working, they are giving lists of names to start calling. These lists are bought wholesale by the Agency, and have normally already been worked by numerous agents for months, sometimes years. In essence the Insurance Company creates a free Call Center, using new Agents, with all the abuses of the worst Call Centers, with a bell to announce appointments made, creating a competitive environment, while insinuating, if your not willing to make at least 300 calls, and work an eight-hour day, at your expense, that your not really hungry enough, or dedicated enough to succeed as an agent for them. This practice should be illegal.

Selling An Intangible

The products that the Industry sells are basically solid, experts project a 22% growth in the industry through 2020, with the strongest segment being in companies that sell Long Term Care and other health related policies as the population ages. These are not impulse buys and the customer usually knows what they want and has already researched what they are looking for. These customers call Insurance companies looking for information they are not a good call center or door to door prospecting target. Even if you locate a good prospect, the product itself is hard to sell. While an intangible is always a hard sell because of the health questions insurance is even more so.

95% Of New Agents Fail Within One Year.

Industry Analysts place the burn out rate for 1st year Life Insurance Agents at greater than 90%. Fewer than 1 in 10 people who embark on a career selling Life Insurance remain in the business beyond one year. If your in a position to where you have to reinvent yourself do yourself a favor and don’t try to do it selling Life Insurance.

As Always, thanks for visiting. Dave





Politically Incorrect; Assisted Living A Scandal Waiting.

Looking at the Options

Being the product of a divorced home, I’ve had the inevitable opportunity, to see two sets of parents, go through the Assisted Living experience. I want to share with you my Dad’s experience.

My Dad developed Parkinson Disease probably in his early to mid sixties. The disease progressed steadily for the next ten years to where he could no longer live independently. Not being in a position emotionally to care for him myself, we started looking to find Assisted Living Facilities for him.

Price the Same No Matter Where You Live?

Like everything, you have your Good, Better and Best options. Obviously wanting the best for Dad we started looking at the Best Facilities. We toured a number of facilities,both in Indiana where Dad had his home and in Nevada, where I lived. I was surprised right at the start to find that the facilities in rural Indiana charged the same as facilities in urban Las Vegas, Nevada. This has never made sense to me since the median price of a home in Indiana was around 150,000 and in Vegas it was around 350,000. It was obvious that the cost of living of a particular geographical area had no impact on the cost of Assisted Living. The Assisted Living Industry has standardized the price throughout the U.S. This Industry is dominated by a few major Corporations. We are talking BIG money and these corporations call the shots.

The Best

While it’s true that these facilities follow the good, better, and best formula, these are totally based on socioeconomic guidelines. The best facilities are for the wealthy, better is for the middle class, and good is for the poor. While Dad would be considered wealthy by most, in touring the best facilities, he felt uncomfortable. The idea of wearing a sports coat to dinner under chandeliers, with classical music playing in the background just left him cold. And while he could afford the basic cost (no assistance) of $4000.00/month for a studio was affordable, it just didn’t suit him.

The Better

So we started to look at the next tier of facilities, the better, designed for middle class sensibilities. We found these to be more to his taste, very nice without being ostentatious, comfortable well appointed living rooms, large and airy dinning rooms, theaters and libraries and even bistros for midnight snacks, some even had swimming pools and spas. With the basic cost (no assistance) of $3000.00/month for a studio, this seemed to fit Dad’s needs. He upgraded to a one bedroom for only an additional $200.00/month. After his initial evaluation, it was determined that he didn’t need any special assistance dressing, bathing or feeding himself so his cost would only be $3200.00/month for a one bedroom. These rooms had a sink, a mini refrigerator and a microwave.

After six months the nurse practitioner decided that Dad needed too much assistance dressing, so they tacked on $500.00 a month. Dad was often frustrated that it took forever to get anyone to help him dress. It would take him 45 minutes to get his shirt on by himself. This became a constant irritation to him. After a year of being frustrated, over little things, Like Staff never answering repeated requests for help. Dad wanted to look at different Families, to see if he could get better service cheaper. It’s at this point that my education about the Assisted Living Industry really began.

The Good

We had seen the best and the better so now we were going to check out the good. The facilities designed for the poor. The larger facilities in most cases had the feel of hospitals. The studios could only be described as better appointed hospital rooms, with the lobby, dinning rooms and recreation areas all with the feel of a nursing home. With a basic cost (no assistance) of $2000.00/month for a studio, appealed to Dad’s frugality, it obviously wasn’t what he was looking for. It’s at this point that we started to look at Group Homes.

Free Referral Service?

The Assisted Living industry has all types of services, available at no cost, to help families, find suitable arrangements. These services, I’m sure, are paid on a commission basis, by the group homes, for finding and directing qualified prospects to them. But I have not really investigated that side of the business. Most referral services have a number of homes they work with though, they know the price structures of each home, and the applicants’ ability to pay. While the whole industry needs to be scrutinized, special attention needs to be placed on Group Homes, this area is ripe for abuses to occur.

Group Homes

Group Homes follow the same socioeconomic breakdown of good for the poor, better for the middle class, and best for the wealthy. Always looking for a deal Dad insisted on looking at a Group Home that cost $2000.00/month. Our referral assistant knew of a home that had an opening for one male. She took us to an average looking house, in an average neighborhood, from the outside it looked like a normal three or four bedroom house. Upon entering, we were meet by the operators of the home, a husband and wife team who had satisfied the State requirements to manage a Group Home. We came to find out that an individual can have one or many Group Homes and because it’s very lucrative the more the better. It’s an Industry that gets very little attention.

Very Lucrative

Upon entering, we found nine people, sitting or milling about the living room, watching TV. They showed us the bed they had available for Dad, he only shared the bedroom with one other man, two of the bedrooms had three beds in them. This turned out to be a five bedroom house with the master being used by the operators. They could handle ten people, which at $2000.00 each comes out to $20,000.00 a month. Very lucrative indeed.

Kitchen enclosed with a Chain Link Fence

We noticed that the kitchen had been enclosed with a chain link fence with a lock on the door, when we inquired about it we were told that residents weren’t allowed in the kitchen in order to prevent possible fires due to residents putting styrofoam containers on the stove or cans in the microwave. That meals were provided three times a day. After walking the house for a few more minutes, wondering how twelve people could live there comfortably we left. The referral agent told us we could move in immediately and that the rent would be prorated, we asked her if this was standard for $2000.00 a month, she said that there were homes that didn’t have as many residents, but that it was pretty standard. We asked her if she knew of anyplace for maybe $3000.00/month. She knew of a number of homes at that price and after visiting a few, Dad found a nice Home, where he could have the master bedroom and garage access, and that only had one other resident. All for only $3500.00 a month. Dad ended up living there for almost a year until a slip and fall in the shower sent him to the hospital from which he never recovered.

The Next Big Scandal

It’s my belief that the Assisted Living Industry is the next big scandal waiting to hit the headlines. I inquired about the average time a person lived in Assisted Living and was told it’s between two to three years. At those prices I wondered if it was because the resident died or just ran out of money. All one needs to do is Google Assisted Living Scandal to see that it’s an issue that is calling for investigation and possible over site. It’s time we look at these national organizations who have obviously colluded to set prices across the country but to especially look at these Group Home entrepreneurs who are making huge amounts of money with very little if any oversight.

As always, thanks for visiting. Dave





Politically Incorrect; Thinking of Setting Up an Antique Booth?

Thinking of setting up an Antique booth in an Antique Mall as maybe a little side hustle? Don’t and I’ll tell you why. There are so many systemic weaknesses in the business model it’s almost hard to know where to start. The first systemic weakness is that the Antique Store as a going concern, has become something you do, as your waiting to go to lunch. It’s become like a tourist attraction, where people walk through with no intention of buying anything. And if on the off chance, they happen to see something they like, they quickly pull out a phone and research it on Ebay, where they can quickly get an education and the good, better and best price. Nowadays most Antique Stores list a large part of their inventory on Ebay, and it’s not surprising to hear that 50-75% of their business comes from their on-line postings.

The second systemic weakness, is the way the Antique business has trained their customers, not to pay the marked price. You can casually walk a store and hear over and over the same weak enticement, “if you see something you like, let me know I’m sure we can work something out”. They create the impression that they are desperate to sell almost at any price. After years of this type of behavior, customers look upon Antique Stores and Malls, as not much better than a flea market or garage sale. It’s like it’s “Let’s Make a Deal” and the dealers are Monte Hall.

The third systemic weakness is the rise of the Antique Malls, with their mistaken belief, that there is strength in numbers. The only people making any money are the Mall owners. This is such a sucker deal that it has to be discussed in it’s entirely. First off they charge anywhere from 1.50 to 3.00 per square foot of space. So a 10’x10′ booth can run anywhere from 150.00 a month to 300.00 a month depending on where the booth is located in the Mall. Booths near the front or on the corners can even demand more.

In addition to the rent, most Malls take a 10% cut of anything they ring up at their registers. Side deals or off site transactions are strictly forbidden. The Mall is only interested in sales and has no incentive in maintaining the gross margin of a booth owner. Since the Mall makes 10% on anything you sell, in a lot of cases they even volunteer to call the owners, to see if they will accept a lower price on behalf of the customer. The Mall owners often develop an adversarial relationship with the booth owners, if they refuse to answer their calls or constantly refuse to drop their prices, even for the most ludicrous offers. On top of the rent and the 10% override many Malls require the booth owners to work one or two days a week, for free.These 8 hr shifts constitute free labor for the Mall, and they love free labor.

Malls advertising budgets are often small and ineffectual or non-existent. They relief in large part on the booth owners use of their own social media platforms, to advertise the Mall for them. After all how do you advertise your booth without telling them where it’s at and as such advertising the Mall. The Mall owners love this free advertising and will actually criticize you if your social media presence is weak.

It’s these three systemic weaknesses, that have made setting up an Antique Booth a losing proposition. You better off building a website and creating an on-line store, but when you factor in the cost of shipping and handling this puts additional strain on profit margins that are already very low. You basically (depending on your cost) making pennies on the dollar. That’s why the Affiliate Marketing business model makes so much sense. Choose from millions of products to promote without the hassle of maintaining inventories or shipping. In addition to that depending on the products you promote there are many opportunities for residual payments, and who doesn’t like the idea of being paid over and over for making one sale.

If, you have never considered Affiliate Marketing I encourage you to take a look at the Wealthy Affiliates Platform. It’s free, but whatever you do don’t try setting up an Antique Booth, the industry has killed itself.


As always, thanks for visiting. Dave






Placebo Effect Research


Belief is the oldest medicine known to man. Today
scientists are beginning to see The Placebo Effect as a window into the
Neurochemical Mechanisms, that connect the mind with the body. It’s my
hypothesis that this affect plays a much larger role than just how the
body deals with pain and disease, but can also affect our beliefs, and
our abilities to change our lives. If by creating expectations, our
minds have the power to change and eliminate chronic physical diseases,
than doesn’t it follow, that we should also be able to change chronic
mental beliefs, that hold us back from living truly self-fulfilling

The Importance of Theater

Humans have
participated in Theater since the beginning of time. First it was the
Shaman and the Chiefs, who just like good performers are able to draw us
in, until we feel they are real, they too would go to great lengths to
create a Theater to draw us in. Nothing has changed today, as we observe
what great lengths people go to create Theaters, like Medicine (
Hospitals), Law (Courts), Religion (Church), Finance (Banks), and even
Health (Gyms). All designed to create expectations in our minds, to draw
us into believing, what they are selling.

Are we Tricking the Mind

We need to look at the Placebo Effect as being a loose family of different phenomena, consisting of the following components.

  • Time; It’s irrelevant
  • Create a Confirmation Bias; Changing the focus, paying attention to signs of improvement
  • Hawthorne Effect; changing of behaviors when you know you are being watched
  • Expectations; raised because you surrounded by believers and fellow travelers
  • Learning; Seeing others progress through following proscribed steps, seeing others become proficient or skilled
  • Social Learning; Learn to associate success by taking actions
  • Human Connection; The intangibles like warmth and empathy of others, sense of community makes people feel better
  • Communication; Duration of interaction and the communication of positive expectations
  • Show Progress; reward and acknowledge every milestone

least understood aspect of Placebo Effect reseach, is how environment
and the rituals and encounters that are designed to change our
experiences, actually change our subjective view of the world. It comes
down to what our beliefs are about success and failure, what they mean
to each individual. And though many don’t believe it will work, they
still unconsciously expect it to.

Scientists Don’t Know

fact is, that there exists beyond ourselves, and our consciousness, a
powerful force that we can tap into, if we believe strongly enough, in
ourselves. By being patient with ourselves, to be willing to learn, and
to challenge long established mental paradigms about ourselves and our
capabilities, we will suddenly realize, that we have it in our power, to
do whatever we want. Enjoy the journey, look at each problem like a
puzzle, and you’ll be amazed at what you can do.

As always, thanks for visiting. Dave





The 12 Steps of Recovery; Why they need to be changed

12 Steps of Recovery

The first 3 Steps of the 12 Steps of recovery are a real problem, and need to be updated. In an earlier blog, I talked about the formation of dis-empowering beliefs, and at the foundation, are the very first beliefs, we form about the nature of the Universe, and whether it’s nurturing or threatening. It’s often said in “meetings” that it’s the spiritual hole within us that leads us to addiction. This spiritual hole has at its start, the dis-empowering belief that the Universe is a threatening and unfriendly place so it must follow that God doesn’t care about us. This one foundation belief about the Universe, has created multiple ancillary beliefs, even about God, that support and strengthen it.

The Seeds of Addiction

The more dis-empowering beliefs we have the more irritable and discontent we become, often at a very early age. It is these feelings of irritability and discontent that are the seeds to addiction. We either search or find by accident a medicine that gives us relief from these feelings. And because of our inability to delay gratification we abuse our medicine until we form an allergy to it. The allergy of can’t stop.

The Problem with Step 1

This brings me to the 12 Steps and the problem (as I see it) with the first 3 Steps. Step 1 states, “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable”. While a new person coming in contact with these steps for the first time might not have a problem understanding being powerless over their drug of choice, it’s the “and our lives had become unmanageable”, where the problem occurs, especially if they are high bottom people who still have responsible jobs, families, houses and cars. If we just change the word “lives” with “thinking” it would be so much easier for new people to get their arms around this key point. It is so much easier to get into a dialogue about someones thinking being screwed up as opposed to trying to explain a life, that from the outside looks pretty good, as being unmanageable. To focus on the idea that it’s our thinking that creates our lives and it’s this thinking that has become unmanageable.

The Problem with Step 2

Step 2 states,” Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity”. This step is vague and misleading and insinuates that we need is an idea of God to recover. It would be easier to understand if it said “Came to believe that it’s only through outside help that we can be restored to sanity”. The point being that a sick mind, can’t fix a sick mind.

The Problem with Step 3

But it’s in Step 3 where most of the confusion lies. “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him”. It’s this statement that insinuates that it’s only through putting the solution outside ourselves that we can find the solution, when the solution clearly lies within us. We need to make a decision to stop blaming the Universe and God for our problems, but to instead look inward on why we believe we are powerless over our own lives. It should read “Made a decision to learn and understand our Gods will for us”By changing the wording even a layman can discuss the fundamental ideas of a divine mind made in the image of our creator, who placed us in a Universe designed to grow man. This eliminates a “sponsor” quandary of trying to explain what turning your will and your life over to God means or looks like.

If They Would Have Just Told Me

If someone had just told me back in 1989, that the reason my life was unmanageable, was because of the dis-empowering beliefs I held, about the Universe and life in general, and it was these beliefs that were making me miserable, I would have been much better off. If they had just told me, that my drug use was only a symptom, of a serious thinking problem, I’d been much better off. And that one of the best ways to find a cure, was to find someone, who had recovered, from the same thinking problems I had. Instead, I went on a quest to find God, alone.

We can Change our Beliefs

The most affordable way to do this today is still, to find a community of men and women who have recovered from this seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. And that all you need (and this is crucial) is a willingness to listen. You don’t have to be like me and spend years as a dry drunk because you can’t figure out how to turn your life and will over to the care of a God, I didn’t even know. Telling someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, that they need to turn their thinking over to someone else, as opposed to taking responsibility for it, is wrong. It’s through showing them, how their dis-empowering beliefs, create the life they find themselves in. That they have free will, and can change both their beliefs and their lives.

Stuck in the Past

These Steps of Recovery were written almost a 100 years ago, nobody today would suggest using a “textbook” written 100 years ago to teach people today. To insist that this is the bible of recovery is to be caught in a form of Narcissism, to ignore the development of new ideas and advances in science, medicine and psychology and to adopt them to an ever-changing world is a dis-empowering belief system that continues to accept falling recovery rates.

It’s Simple

What can be easier to understand than this simple concept. It’s our thinking that is the cause of our lives (the effect). Our divine mind has free will to believe anything we choose. The Universe was provided to grow Man and produce what ever we plant. It can do no less. Gods will is for Man to prosper and be happy.

As always, thanks for visiting. Dave





The Causes of Alcoholism; Who you going to trust?

What’s better Study or Experience?

Who would you trust? Someone who has studied painting for 30 years or somebody who has painted for 30 years? Someone who has studied dancing for 30 years or someone who has danced for 30 years? Someone who has studied alcoholism for 30 years or someone who had been alcoholic for 30 years? Someone who has studied recovery or someone who has recovered? They’re people out there, that believe something because they have studied it, then there are those that believe because they know.

Beliefs; Subjective or Objective

While to believe is good there are levels of belief, both subjective and objective. The belief gained through study is subjective, and the belief gained through experience is objective. You can trust the belief gained through education but you can have faith in the belief gained through experience. What is stronger trust or faith?

Faith vs Trust

If you have lived with dis-empowering beliefs for 30 years, like I have you can have faith that I know, as opposed to someone who has studied dis-empowering beliefs for 30 years. They may trust they know but they don’t have faith that they know. The arrogance of people with education and a lot of letters behind their names never cease to amaze me. The egos of these people, is only surpassed by how wrong they have been, about so many things, they believed they knew.

Can you Trust the Experts?

We laugh today at what the “experts” told us was true only 50 years ago. History has shown us this over and over. Often at the determent to the population at large. Yet the “experts” never stop pontificating about something they trust to be true. Simply because they have studied the problem, only to be proven wrong by someone who has lived the problem, and who was brave enough to talk or write about it.

The Hubris

When I hear or read about an “expert” telling the world that alcoholism is an incurable disease, I’m struck by the hubris of the statement, I wonder how, without really living it, they can be so sure of themselves. Without any regard to who it hurts, when they spread these dis-empowering beliefs, into the public arena. Unless you’ve lived it you don’t really know, well I know.

A Life of Alcoholism

I’ve lived around alcoholism my whole life and have suffered with it for 30 years. It has affected every aspect of my life. It has been responsible for killing three careers, two marriages and the relationship with my children, and I know hundreds of other people who have experienced the same and even worse. What I’ve also seen is hundreds of people who have successfully recovered from this seemingly hopeless state of mind and body, and I’m one of them. When I read that its incurable I look in the mirror and ask what do they know? Am I a lie?

The Motivation is Money

Are these “experts” going to tell me I can’t trust my own experiences? That a person can’t have faith that not only is recovery from alcoholism possible but attainable. Again what are the motivations behind anyone telling people that alcoholism is incurable. I’m here to tell everyone that alcoholism can be cured, and you don’t have to attend meetings for the rest of your life to accomplish it. Recovery can occur quite quickly, if we started to focus on the root cause as opposed to just looking at the effects.

It’s Narcissism

Nobody likes to admit they are Narcissistic. And this is the whole problem, nobody will admit it. The condition of Narcissism by its very nature is to deny, deflect and misdirect attention elsewhere. The Narcissist manipulates the situation in such a way that blame can never be placed where it belongs. It’s like this mental illness’s mantra is call me anything, but don’t call me narcissistic. Well the jig is up’ the cats out of the bag.

Attend 90 in 90, see for yourself

Anybody who has seriously read the symptoms and behaviors of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) only has to attend 90 in 90 to be thoroughly convinced that its this, mental illness, that is not only behind alcoholism but is the root cause behind most addictions today. The third step prayer in A.A. especially asks God to remove “the bondage of self”. And NPD in its pure form is the bondage of self.

It’s the Beliefs you Hold

Being stuck with the dis-empowering beliefs, that convince us, that we are separate, alone and victims in a hostile universe, makes us so unhappy, and discontent that we either actively search for relief or find it by accident. And the medicine that’s been most easily found, since forever, has been alcohol, but it certainly is’nt the only medication people turn too.

Dismay Recovery Rates

It’s my opinion that this obsession of the mind, is the mental illness called Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The sooner we start to realize this and bring it the attention it deserves, the sooner we will see an improvement in the dismal recovery rates we continue to see. Only through a psychic change that I finally experienced in Step 11, have I become willing to show my own vulnerabilities and have the confidence to start speaking out.

Check it Out

I encourage anyone reading this, that if you or someone you know ,is suffering from an addiction, of any kind, that you look at NPD. Our beliefs create our thinking. Our thinking leads to behaviors and emotions and creates the life we live. Once we realize, we are not our thoughts, then we can start the healing process. My blogs will cover all kinds of dis-empowering beliefs and shine the light empowerment upon them. I look forward to any comments you may have and welcome them. It’s only through open and honest communication that we can pull back the curtain. Once, your aware, there is no going back. Enjoy the journey.

As always, thanks for visiting. Dave






Want to Quiet the Noise in Your Mind?

Here are somethings I’ve started to try that have helped me, maybe they will help you to.

  1. Start listening to Classical music when you drive. Classical music has been proven to be the only form of music that engages both sides of the mind, ensure you listen to it at low volume.
  2. Cancel the local Newspaper. Being a subscriber for years and years I thought that this would be a daunting task, what I found instead is that I didn’t become so emotionally tied to things, if I didn’tknow about them. I realized that I didn’t need my finger on the pulse of everything that was happening around the city and in the country. If it’s of real importance it would find it’s way to me.
  3. Monitor my TV, if you have a DVR record what you want to watch. Try to eliminate all commercials. Never channel surf and remove the TV from the bedroom and never go to sleep with the TV on.
  4. Go to the local park and just walk for thirty to forty minutes every day.
  5. Start reading the books you’ve been putting off for years, especially before going to bed.
  6. Listen to white noise audio while sleeping, start a dream journal.
  7. Take a sauna or steam three times a week
  8. Start exercising thirty to forty minutes three times a week
  9. Stop the negative mind talk, be impeccable with your work

As always, thanks for visiting, Dave





What Causes Alcoholism

Just Because It’s in Google Doesn’t Mean it’s True

If you what to find out about Alcoholism, don’t always look to Google for the answer. The other day I typed Alcoholism into Google, and the first listing on page 1 was the Mayo Clinic. This is their definition of Alcoholism, “a chronic disease, characterized by uncontrolled drinking, and a preoccupation with alcohol”. Then right underneath in bold letters is written very common, “more then 3 million cases a year”.They follow this with the LIE, “treatment can help, but this condition can’t be cured”.

Alcoholism 4th Preventable Cause of Death

Number 2 on page 1 is Medlineplus.gov which talks about how 18 million adults have an Alcohol Use Disorder, (AUD), which they characterize as not being physically dependent, but still a serious problem. AUD has three levels mild, moderate and severe. Number 3 on page 1 is Alcoholrehabguide.org that writes, “88,000 people die each year from alcohol related causes. That it’s the 4th leading preventable cause of death in America”. They go on to state, “Alcohol abuse is treatable and that there are a number of Rehab Facilities that specialize in Alcohol Addiction Programs and Therapies”. They than go on to list the common factors why people turn to Alcohol.

  1. Relieve Stress
  2. Feel good
  3. Cope with loss
  4. Overcome anxiety

Confusion, is it curable or not?

Is it any wonder, that there is so much confusion and misunderstanding, about an addiction, that has been around since Man first crushed grapes. The Mayo Clinic says it’s not curable, without giving any reasons why. The Rehab site says it’s curable, and gives simplistic and inaccurate reasons about what causes alcoholism.

Mental Illness is the Root Cause of Addictions

These sites obviously have different agendas, my question is why none of these sites, state what millions of people know, that the addiction to alcohol is simply an allergy of the body caused by a mental obsession of the mind, and that millions have recovered from this seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. It’s known now that almost all addictions are caused by mental illness, and the sooner we get consistency from the “experts” about the role mental obsessions play in addiction, the sooner we can help more people find relief.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

It is my Hypothesis that almost all Addictions are the direct result of the mental disease called Narcissistic Personality Disorder, (NPD). This disorder was first diagnosed in 1985 as an incurable mental illness. After, further study this diagnosis was modified in 1990. It was determined that NPD could be cured with intensive psychological therapies, but if left untreated NPD would progress to Malignant Narcissism (MN), for which there is no cure. This has been the experts opinion for almost 30 years, and yet no one seems willing to place NPD as the root cause of Alcoholism and most other addictions.

Change Dis-Empowering Beliefs

It’s the intent of this Website, to try to change the misconceptions we have about addiction and other dis-empowering beliefs that hold us back from dreaming.

As always, thanks for visiting. Dave






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